


Ailing Euphoria

by Anti_tm



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, First fanfic on AO3, Flashbacks, Galra and Altean people still have their natural appearance, Homesickness, Homophobia, Hospitals and needles, Just tryna make this fanfic even angsty-er, Lancelot is one sided, Langst??, Leukemia, Multi, childhood traumas, early childhood sickness, hanahaki, they coexist on Earth with hoomans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-11 06:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anti_tm/pseuds/Anti_tm
Summary: Lance thinks it’s too late to end what he wished he had started sooner. Now that his health is endangering his lifespan, he had no other escape but to rely on one thing.Poetry.Lance starts writing poetry about everything. Conveying how he felt about his current health or the guy he crushed on for almost two years now. So he writes more poems while situated on a hospital bed, feeling nothing but an outcast.“I’m just feeling, blue, you know?”





	1. First Beep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the re-written version of the old chapter, so you'll find similarities (of course). Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Happy reading~
> 
> Anti

   On a hot day in the fourth month of the year, a pilot student was talking with his close friends while making their way to the locker room. It was sure a hot day, even if the hallways were a little air conditioned than outside. Lance was sweating still, and it annoyed him a lot.

   They were currently talking about the simulation test, but Lance didn’t feel like joining the conversation. Mostly, it was Shiro advising Hunk and pointing out sophisticated mistakes they did, that the general himself didn’t mention. 

   Well, you can’t say anything about that. 

   Shiro was the legend in their college, no arguing it. They even call him _The Champion_. How fancy is that!

   Lance couldn’t argue him too. The guy was a year older than them and he knew mostly everything. Although he might've felt wounded from the failed simulation he went through, he tried his best to brush it off like it was nothing. But it meant a lot. And it was definitely something.

   “Are you listening, Lance?” The warm voice of his best friend’s was heard. Lance looked ahead of him a little, when he felt eyes on him. Shiro and Hunk were looking back at him, some concern drawn onto their faces.

   Lance raised a brow; somewhat confused with the looks he was given. “What?” was the only thing he managed to muster out after a short silence between the trio. Hunk smiled at him and looked back at Shiro, saying something to him. Lance couldn’t make out what they were taking about after, since it consisted of chuckles and whispers.

   It’s not like he cares. Because he _really_ does. He’s part of this group of friends, yet there is stuff he doesn’t know off.

   “Where is Keith?” Shiro asked, not really worried but mostly tired and bored. It’s as if he knew what Keith was doing now, but had to make sure he at least attended his classes.

   Lance rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to say something. “He can’t because—” not long after Lance cut himself off, he felt someone’s presence linger behind him. He looked behind him to see no other than the Keith Kogane himself.

   “He can’t because what?” Keith repeated Lance’s unfinished statement, almost in a daring tone, one eyebrow raised in mock interest. It was dangerous how their eyes locked together, both of them almost snarling at the other. If you focus enough, you can see lightning shooting out of their eyes. Even the atmosphere dropped drier than the weather itself.

   It was tense between these two, as if both of them trying to convey different feelings through this eye contact. However, none of them got the hang of these mysteriously ignored feelings.

   Lance was about to retort, but was cut off of his actions again when Shiro started –yet again– lecturing Keith about showing up very late to class. So Lance just brushed it off, thanking Shiro for occupying the said boy away from him.

   Keith was the last person he wanted to talk to. Even though the Texan didn’t do anything to him, he just felt too nervous and a little insecure after the simulator incident to face his so called ‘rival’.

   Hunk stepped down from beside Shiro and started walking beside Lance. “Hey.” Hunk nudged his best friend’s side softly. “What did you want to say earlier?” he finished his question, looking Lance in the eyes. Lance made a face and Hunk giggled a little at how ridiculous it looked.

   “Won’t tell you,” Lance added childishly as the four males entered the locker room together.

   Walking to the third passageway to the left wall of lockers, he found his locker, gracefully clean and tidy. He put in the code to his lock and opened the locker while picking out the athletic clothes he had in there.

   Lance felt all clammy and disgusting, since the locker room wasn’t air conditioned. All the sweat dotting over his skin made him feel uncomfortable. He should be used to sweat, but it always didn’t feel right against his skin. As if there were needles poking out of each pore, sending a sharp pain throughout his veins.

   He shivered at the unpleasant thought, but soon forgot all that when his rival walked over to the opposite wall and start to change. Yup, it was the usual. How ironic. The rivals just had to have their lockers right in front of each other’s.

   It wasn’t something Lance favored, but he enjoyed the view pretty well from where he stood. So it was a plus for him.

   What Lance didn’t know was that Hunk was standing right behind him, smiling slightly at the dazed Cuban. Hunk started to whisper, “Lance and Keith, sitting in a tree. K I S S—!!”

   Lance clamped his hands against his childhood best friend’s mouth to shut him up. It’s the same song that Hunk always sang for the past two years. Whenever he felt Lance space out, he would sing it, so he can get his friend back to reality.

   He couldn’t bring himself to hate Hunk no matter what, but he was thankful Hunk didn’t sing that song in front of Shiro earlier when he spaced out. It would’ve been downright embarrassing!

   You could hear Hunk’s muffled laughter against Lance’s hands, as he struggled to keep his voice down. They were given looks from their fellow dudes hanging around, but the two didn’t really care or pay them any attention.

   “Shut up already! Singing that song every time I look at him,” Lance muttered while whining a little, retreating his hands from Hunk’s mouth. Eyeing Keith’s bare back one last time, Lance turned around to his own locker again as he started taking off his shirt. Lance coughed a little, dismissing it and put on his shirt quickly.

   Hunk chuckled, rummaging through his locker for his favorite shirt. “Oh c’mon, man. You basically gawk him in every PE class.” Hunk chuckled again, taking a few glances at Keith, trying to find the possible traits Lance found attractive.

   He spoke up again. “I mean, you’ve been crushing on his for two year now. And I see it as a not so Lance-like.” Hunk murmured, respecting his best friend’s secret and keeping it down.

   Lance shrugged, not knowing how to respond. “I don’t know how it happened honestly.” It was a hazy memory of how Lance started developing feelings for his rival, but he wasn’t going to talk about it. Recalling it will just add in more pressure to his stressed out heart.

   “Is it the eyes? The back muscles? The mullet?” Hunk thought for a little more before getting closer to Lance. He started to whisper, adding in the effect of being cheesy. “Is it the booty?”

   Lance wanted to admit it, but he bit it back, not wanting to say something stupid. Besides, Hunk will laugh it off first and the next minute he’ll tell Pidge. And when Pidge knows something, she won’t be merciful towards Lance. Teasing him about his crush was her goal. But Lance understood that Pidge and Hunk wanted to cheer him up when he knew nothing would change how things were.

   Keith is hot. It’s like aiming for the jackpot. But the guy sure was short tempered, impulsive and aggressive, which made him _way_ hotter to Lance.

   However, he was sure offended by what Hunk said. He punched Hunk playfully in the arm. “Dude, you’re the one checking him out now!”

   Hunk laughed, joking about how his best friend was being over protective over something he doesn’t own. It made Lance a little sad about how harsh that might’ve sounded, but he knew Hunk didn’t mean it. Lance knew well, that Hunk wasn’t that kind of guy. Again, he was wanted to cheer him up. So he let it slide, not wanting to work himself out before freaking PE.

   The blue-eyed boy rolled his eyes and sighed, getting into his shorts, shirt and the required running shoes. “Quit it. It’s not like anything will change,” Lance reminded his close friend again, peaking over his shoulder to watch Keith closely, as the raven haired boy left the locker room along with Shiro right at his side.

   Hunk watched Lance’s face fall a little. Hunk huffed out, not knowing how to feel toward his best friend’s crush and how Lance seemed to be out of spirit today. “You know. I never thought you’d be that serious with a crush. Two years is quiet a long wait. Like, remember that time with—”

   “I’m leaving,” Lance called out over what was about to be said, cutting Hunk off. He grabbed a refreshingly cold water bottle from the small fridge at the locker room and started walking off to the door.

   “Hey!” Hunk yelled out in protest, not liking the idea of being cut off twice today. Lance chuckled at his best friend’s reaction, and sped walked to fool around with him some more.

   Sooner than Lance expected, Hunk was beside him again, both of them now standing under the blazing sun at their huge stadium.

   Hunk thought a little and decided to bring up their previous topic again, carefully trying not to say anything too careless.

   “You actually never said you hated it when I sang. So I see no sign of stopping soon!” He teased in revenge, not even remembering the warning he was given to earlier. Lance gasped out, threatening Hunk to stop picking on him again or he’ll trip him over something while running.

   “Let me remind you again. Your sing voice isn’t the best.” Lance smirked when Hunk’s mouth gaped playfully and faked being hurt.

   “Ouch. Harsh.” Hunk laughed as they walked off to the big oval stadium, bantering and bickering here and there. It would’ve been considered a normal day for both of them, but the weather was awfully hot and dry; it felt like they’re in a desert.

   “Kids.” They heard a voice say casually once they reached the meeting point, their heads turning over to the said person. It was no other than the infamous Pidge Gunderson.

   “Well, good afternoon to you too, Pidge,” Lance saluted the short boy just when their PE teacher came. Grumbling, all the students huddled around the teacher, as he started instructing them on their endurance training warm up.

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

   It was already 17 minutes in when the three students were running goofily around their college stadium, talking and joking around. They did get caught some times slowing down in their pace, only to be scolded by their PE teacher.

   It was almost like a routine to the three.

   Chatting and gossiping about everything from machinery, outer Space, annoying teachers, to girls and guys. It was good to always fill themselves with some juicy gossip that belonged to their big College they attended, The Garrisons.

   “You’re being dramatic,” Pidge commented, after hearing Lance ramble about his only favorite topics for a couple minutes now. Girls, guys and outer Space. Not to mention, the unnecessary and constant complaining of today’s hot weather too, along with Hunk also.

   “Guys! Wait up!” Hunk yelled out, one hand flunked up in the air as he panted his way to them. It was tiresome to fight against the killing heat of a spring’s afternoon. As strangely as it sounded, no one works out in summer.

   Well, at least Hunk doesn’t, since summer is all about enjoying yourself on the beach. However, Hunk hated PE with a burning passion, and the weather wasn’t helping at all. He’ll get all sweaty and he is wearing his favorite shirt today!

   He doesn’t know about you. Working out in summer was lame. Wait, no. Working out in general was lame and very tiring. He’d rather eat three giant pizzas with Lance on a casual and lazy weekend. Yeah, that sounds much better. Oh, and maybe Pidge could come over and they would play video games—

   “Of course I have to complain about this freaking hot weather!” Lance flailed, dismissing the dusty brown haired guy's comment. He slowed down with his pace for Hunk, while taking a gulp from his water bottle. Their teacher sure was an asshole for making them run two miles around their stadium as a ‘warm up’. It was the usual warm up, but these threats about making them run extra, were definitely a couple of  _dick moves_.

   Lance sure felt very drained after running this much, he could feel his legs wobbling a little weakly after each step he takes. He put a hand against his mouth once he started coughing a little

   Although, he was used to this routine of running around, there were three annoying things distracting him from continuing:

  1. The weather, of course
  2. These unbearably irritating constant little coughs
  3. And, his legs _can’t_ move, okay?



   He’s not being a melodramatic baby at all. He felt it. Lance had pretty long legs, so he wouldn’t be complaining about how they’re graciously pattering across the roughly matted platform of the stadium.

   But not today.

   It was one of these days were he wants to let his body sleep, crash to the ground, and chill next to the ants walking around the Earth.

   Resting his left arm on Hunk’s shoulder, he earned himself a glare from his childhood best friend. The ‘ _are you *effing serious now?’_ look was definitely plastered onto Hunk’s face.

   In return, Lance smiled sheepishly at him and Hunk let it pass this one time, taking the weather as a convincing excuse.

   “Lance, we’re in April and we didn’t even finish a mile—” Pidge paused his speed walking, when he looked behind him to unconsciously check on the two. He stood dead in his tracks, being too stunted over what he saw.

   What he saw can’t be simply ignored. Although it wasn’t that visible, Pidge got to see it nonetheless.

   “What’s wrong?” The Cuban asked, coughing a little more before taking a stop too, Hunk right beside him. He wasn’t aware of what he was staring at, so he glanced down at the same spot the shorter male was looking at to inspect it.

   His right arm was the one in question.

   There was a small purple bruise on his right wrist. Sure, it was weird to find it in a place like that. Bruising yourself on your wrist wasn’t an easy task to do, even if you wanted to. At least that’s what Lance’s theory was, until now. 

   But, Lance doesn’t even remember hurting himself anytime earlier.

   Did he bump into something? Did he pressure his wrist muscles too much it bruised? Scrap his wrist against a rough surface without feeling that little sting of subtle pain? Hit his wrist against a cool area, that would make his veins pop visibly like that?

   None. He doesn’t remember hurting his wrist, or any part of his body earlier. His body was precious to him, and seeing that he got an unknowingly mysterious bruise on his wrist, upset him a lot.

   Without a warning, Pidge yanked Lance’s right hand and tugged it towards, a little away from Hunk. He almost lost balance from the sudden pull, his legs _almost_ betraying him. However, Hunk was on time, putting a supporting hand on Lance’s shoulder. The smaller boy seemed to be too occupied with eyeing the bruise to notice Lance’s near death.

   “Do you abuse yourself, Lance?” Without giving the question much thought, Pidge asked randomly, not aware how abnormal that sounded. 

   Surprised by the question, Lance pulled his hand away from the younger guy's grasp instinctively.

   “What the hell, Pidge? Why would you even think like that?!” he yelled, not believing his close friend thought of a question like that about him. He would never abuse himself, even if some weird thought crossed his mind. Hurting yourself was never the answer to anything.

   “Oh, c’mon! It won’t just appear out of nowhere!” Pidge rationalized and Lance groaned, feeling the sun’s blaring heat again on his head, giving him a slight headache.

   Pidge pursed his lips in thought and then added, “Unless you hurt it in the simulation?” His statement was more of a question. Lance didn’t know his two close friends were staring at him, until he felt Hunk’s hand on the small of his back. A soothing touch to keep him calm and focused.

   Lance shrugged, not knowing and sighed, resulting in him to cough even more. He cursed the constant coughing, running a hand through his mildly sweaty hair, and immediately taking his hand away from the disgusting texture of it.

   “I don’t remember even bumping into something to get this,” he admitted. “It’s not even that visible.”

   Pointing at the purple marking made Pidge raise a brow at the statement. They didn’t know they were standing in the middle of the oval shaped stadium when Hunk chimed in.

   “Um, you guys know the teacher will probably see us and we’ll be toast—”

   Right after he finished his sentence, they heard the well-known yell coming from their PE teacher, urging them to start running again. Or be writhed to run another four kilometers around the stadium.

   They were forced to run again, but it was difficult for all of them.

   The weather was killer for it to be the middle of April. Pidge was too preoccupied with his thoughts to focus on his track. Lance’s strange bruise was interesting enough to keep her mind working while running.

   Hunk tried his best to not sweat through his favorite shirt, but it wasn’t helping.

   Finally, Lance. He was struggling the most of them. He couldn’t bring himself to move his legs properly like earlier. He couldn’t even pick his feet up from the ground from the heavy weights he felt rest invisibly against his ankles. The headache he had before only grew in matter, as he felt like choking under the sun’s harsh glare. 

   “Lance?” Hunk called when he felt his best friend behind him. Normally, Hunk was always the one running after the said male. But it kind of gave him a bad feeling about Lance lazing behind him. It just wasn’t like Lance to do so when he was a person who sometimes took PE seriously –depending on his mood–

   He heard something drop to the ground behind him, so he turned around to check on his friend. Looking behind him, the water bottle Lance once held trailed off course to the side, as his gaze was raised to his friend. The Cuban boy coughed out loudly this time, panting audibly with chocked short breaths.

   Lance felt suffocated. His lungs were on fire as if someone was squeezing the air out of them. He could hear all the blood rush to his ears, blocking him from hearing momentarily, when he heard Hunk yell his name.

   “Lance!” Hunk yelled out his name, running over to his best buddy, totally forgetting about his sweaty shirt that bothered him the most. What he didn’t know is that he grabbed Pidge’s attention and some other nearby students too.

   Pidge gasped out from pure shock when he saw Lance struggling to breathe. “Get the nurse!” Hunk yelled, trying to get Lance in an upright position. Without thinking twice, Pidge sprinted off to the PE teacher, to tell him quickly and ran off to the nurse’s office.

   Some of the students started to crowd around Lance, some nearby teachers making their way to the current issue.

   Lance couldn’t figure about what he was feeling, but for some reason he could tell he felt a little claustrophobic at the moment. Although they were in open-air grounds, something gave him the unnerving feeling of him drowning in a vast dark ocean. Not able to breathe or fight against the current to break through the surface.

   It was stressful and worrisome.

   He didn’t like that feeling at all. Not even a bit.

   He felt trapped within its clamped and sharpened claws. As if an ocean creature took ahold of him to swallow him whole down its throat, and to its empty hungry stomach.

   His vision dimmed. It might have probably been his eyelids drooping over his eyes like curtains. However, he felt wide awake and asleep at the same moment. It was a moment of indecisiveness. And it made no sense at all.

   Should he sleep? Or should he stay awake?

   “Lance! Buddy! Stay with me!” The reassuring voice of his best friend came to his rescue when he almost let go of the invisible hand extended to him.

   It was a stupid situation, in a stupid timing, and he felt hopeless. He felt like he should care about how he looked like in front of people, but he really didn’t even bother. He never experienced something like that before. Not that he remembers anything at the moment.

   It’s like; someone built a dam in his lungs, trying to keep in the flushed over fluids inside in place, but it just couldn’t work. The dam was not fully functioning yet. ‘ _Out of service. Please come later,_ ’ was what it meant to say in the end.

   He knew it was his own head feeding him images and thoughts. Like a child getting too curious in wanting to swallow Legos, thinking the different colors would taste like fruits. Or a person frustratingly matching up a huge complicated puzzle, that didn’t even have matching patterns.

   But he just couldn’t care.

   Not being able to breathe _was_ a problem. Be it you chocked onto something, you having a panic attack, having a simple nosebleed or blood coursing through your lungs. All of them sounded worse than the one before.

 _It’s just a delusion_ , he repeated to himself. But it wasn’t convincing.

   Hunk was terrified to do anything that might hurt his friend, but he had to take immediate action until professional help comes so he won’t regret anything in the end.

   Hunk seated Lance up more properly, trying to straighten his back as much as possible as his friend started to wheeze. He put his pointer and middle finger against Lance’s neck, checking his pulse. The pulse was fast and the breathing got more unusual. Lance was wheezing harder, coughing way louder as he covered his mouth.

   Weird? This whole afternoon took an abnormal turn of events. First, he failed an important test. Second, he was with his friends, talking and joking. Next, he finds himself seated weakly on the ground, trying to breathe desperately, but not knowing how to.

   For once, Lance had this peculiar thought in the very wrong moment.

   Did babies feel like that when they first greeted the world? Did little baby Lance feel that way too? Unable to breathe, and crying for help?

   “Don’t block your airway!” Hunk yelled. Again, it was soothing to feel his childhood best friend’s voice brush against his blocked ears like that. It made him aware that he’s –at least– still conscious.

_What **did** make sense? _

   He knew this wouldn’t be his last time experiencing these wicked salty waters of this imaginary deep black ocean.

   It wasn’t blue, like the ocean he grew up to.

   No. It was dark, vast, cold and empty. Lacking everything.

   What made him come back to life was the tugging that pulled his hand away from his mouth. Hunk wasn’t that happy when Lance’s eyes landed lazily on his petrified friend.

   Hunk was definitely not happy about what he saw after pulling Lance’s hand away from his mouth. He felt the wet substance on the taller guy’s hand and thought it was drool.

   But oh boy, he was wrong. It wasn’t drool.

   It was _blood_.

   The nurse was on time with a small oxygen mask, when Hunk started to panic. Pidge was reunited with his friends, only this time with Shiro behind him, pure concern written on his face.

   But one thing was interesting enough to get his limited attention with all his twisted up drama.

 _Keith_ was also staring at him.

   The dark skinned boy wondered what kind of face he was making, cursing at his dizziness and then growing back a headache. His ears rang again, blocking him from hearing anything. This time however, it allowed him to hear his uneven breathing and his racing heartbeats.

   The nurse quickly put the oxygen mask around Lance’s mouth, bringing the monitor to life to help him breathe again.

   Coughing was hard. Instead of it burning his throat, it felt slippery and sloppy. Something was blocking him from breathing. The back of his throat felt ticklish, his nose wrinkling under the mask, but it took a sudden stop.

   When he took the deep breath he was instructed to take, the mask provided him with comfortable oxygen, comforting his aching lungs and the nonfunctional dam.

   “Deep breathing,” the nurse insisted, holding Lance’s healthy hand, while instructing him on how to take deep and calm breaths. It felt nice. The coughing didn’t die out that quickly though, but it felt better than anything that happened lately.

   The mask gave his mouth and nose a cool breeze, inspiriting him to continue on breathing.

   It’s like you’re teaching your dog a trick and he knows if he listened to you, he’ll get a treat. It felt that way to Lance. The more he listened to the nurse instructing him, the more he got ahold of that cool breeze and the relaxing oxygen coursing through his tired lungs.

   After a couple of minutes of listening to the determined voice of the nurse, Lance started to calm down. His body felt weak, his back aching from forcing it to stay upright for a long while.

   But everything went smoothly after, which wasn’t what Lance expected, but he was thankful to the least.

   The PE teacher told the nurse to take Lance to the office so he can rest. The nurse was understanding towards that and requested for a student to help Lance out during their trip to the nurse’s office.

   Hunk instinctively raised his hand to help his best buddy because he was worried about him too. However, Pidge slapped the hand down, telling him to glance to their right.

   Slowly, the two looked over to the right as Pidge instructed and saw a hesitant hand in the air, which belonged to an unexpected person. Hunk and Pidge were questioning the action until they glanced at Shiro who gave them a knowing smile.

   They smiled back knowingly too and gave him the thumbs up, as Keith started to speak up. “I’ll help him.” The PE teacher raised a brow in question, but didn’t push it, as he threatened the other students to start running again.

   Lance was still seated on the ground, not knowing how the hell to get to his feet again. The cause of all this chaos was his legs anyhow. The way they buckled weakly and betrayed him. He wasn’t sure he could trust them after that.

   His thoughts were resided when a certain gloved hand extended towards his direction. In minor disbelief, his eyes trailed up the arm only to land on bright amethyst orbs. _Beauty…_

   “Beauty,” He said out loud before he could stop himself. Keith gave him an astonished look, “What?” Was what got Lance back to life. _Shit, I said it out loud_ , he thought, trying his best to come up with something witty or maybe a lie.

   “What.” Lance repeated what Keith said and he wanted to slap himself so badly, his hand twitched automatically. Now, his sweat wasn’t about the killer weather, but the death-threatening moment he’s facing at the moment.

   Keith rolled his eyes, brushing it off and shook his hand in the air impatiently. “You’re still dazed. Now get up before I change my mind.”

   Let’s just say, Lance was thankful for Keith coming up with a lie for him. In fact he was a little dazed, but not to the point to stupidly call his crush a beauty right in front of him. Well, he might have said it's a joke, but his current situation was too serious to joke in. 

   Lance extended his hand out hesitantly, and took Keith’s hand. He was pulled off the ground and almost stumbled to the ground again, but Keith took Lance’s healthy left arm and locked it around his neck lightly.

   Now, Lance was leaning almost all his weight against Keith’s side, as they started walking in silence. The taller male couldn’t justify the silence.

   Was it awkward? As strange as it sounds, no. It’s more like the atmosphere around him dropped. Like swallowing a couple of baby rocks accidentally on an empty stomach. It was dry, bland and… heavy. Not heavy in like awkward but heavy as in, testing, daring and questioning. Lance felt pressured from it. 

   It’s as if both of them were waiting for the other to speak up first, which made it a little tense. “Quiznack PE,” Lance mumbled, grumbling a couple of times until Keith responded.

   “Well, you should take care of your body. Even if you’re tall and what not, you weigh like a feather.”

 ** _That_** , offended Lance. Of course, even if he’s a beauty from the outside, that boy definitely was audacious. Which made him more attractive and Lance hates himself for admitting so.

   He retorted automatically, “Instead of talking about my body, take care of yours. Better drink your milk or you’ll never grow any taller, Mullet.”

   Keith scoffed at the famous nickname he was given and hummed. “It’s better to be stronger than taller,” he announced, “You know you’ll be dead if I wasn’t here to help you.”

 _So he wanted a fight after all_ , Lance thought. _And here I thought he’d be friendly_.

   Lance lip curled a little, his arm around Keith’s neck tightening in a menacing manner. He did have a point. If he left him, Lance will have to stay on the cold ground for a couple more minutes to recover from his numb legs. But he didn’t have the right to say that.

   “If you wanted to ‘help’ me out with ill-intentions, you’re not welcomed.” Lance kept his eyes fixed ahead of them when he felt Keith’s eyes on him. Even though Lance hated him at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to look over at him. It’s enough that Keith was holding his healthy wrist to situate his arm properly around his neck.

   If they were really fighting because of their huge egos, Keith would’ve let go of him when Lance tightened his arm grip around the shorter male’s neck. It was confusing how he didn’t react to it the way he thought he would—

   But no. Keith Kogane had to bless him with something cute on a day Lance found shitty. He was surprised when he heard Keith’s muffled laughter.

   Curiously, The dark skinned male looked over to the other male a little confused. Keith was chuckling against his unoccupied gloved hand, muttering something under his breath, which Lance couldn’t hear.

   Keith smirked and looked over at Lance’s confused eyes, his amethyst ones glowing mysteriously with a hidden emotion. “It’s good to have your normal self back.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple notices:
> 
> 1) I edited the first chapter because I didn't know it got published.  
> 2) The fic's description changed because it wasn't well described.  
> (When the story was published, I definitely wasn't ready to write it that early. So keep in mind I'm still a newby here and I found the controls confusing.)  
> sometimes.  
> 3) Also, Pidge's pronounce will remain he/his in here but he's still biologically a female.  
> (Sorry if anything got deleted, like comments and such x.x I had to delete the chap 'cause it was confusing...)


	2. Second Beep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter:  
> Lance found his legs failing him in PE class where he had to run. Instead, he sat there on the ground not breathing for the last couple of minutes. 
> 
> When he coughed up blood, his friends started to panic and got the nurse. She helped him breathe properly with the use of an oxygen mask and requested for a person to help bring him to the office. 
> 
> An unexpected person volunteered to help, and Lance didn't know how to feel. 
> 
> Should he consider it as his crush helping and worrying over him? Or his rival leading him to a private fight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thankful for all the love given to this fanfic. It's a delight to write for you guys! 
> 
> Here you go. The long awaited chapter two!!! *drumroll*  
> (I'm sorry if it's short. But it's supposed to be like that, 'cause the other chapters will be longer)
> 
> Happy reading~
> 
> Anti

   Hours have passed with Lance lying there. At the nurse’s office. On a stiff bed which made his back cry. With no one beside him. It was both comforting and lonely here. He kind of wanted to think of what has happened hours ago.

   But, Lance _hated_ silence.

   Lance hated solitude. It drove him crazy. It’s like waiting for a traffic jam to solvate. Or being forced to walk behind a slow person when you’re completely late for an important appointment. It wasn’t that pleasant to him.

   Recalling back to the household he grew up in, it was **never** quiet. There was always someone talking. Even if there was a fight and the tension was high, there were background noises. Like whispers between the ones sitting next to each other. Or the eye contact conversations. Or the sound of daily chores. Plates clinking, the smell of delicious food, or the vacuum being used against the carpets they owned.

   He missed all these noises.

   Maybe he thought they were annoying back when he was little, but now he values every little thing. It was the house he grew up in. No matter what, there is no changing that he loved every day being a part of it.

_Damn…_

   No, he won’t get homesick now. There is no time for this. He needed to find the nurse.

   Lance looked around first when he felt like moving his pounding head. The curtains around him were drawn completely, shutting him out of the world around him.

   Stupid headaches. How does a person even get one this quick? It’s like forcing a cheetah to run on a freaking treadmill, so a person can calculate its momentum. As if that poor cheetah needed to run any faster, because it wasn’t necessary! It’s already fast! Why add the velocity and force it?

 _Goodness_ , Lance thought to himself. _For once, please stop having these crazy thoughts._

  Lance deadpans to no one in particular. He’s gone crazy. That was his resolution over the past few hours now. Speaking of hours now…

  Nurse. He needed to find the nurse. It’s better now than never. Taking this as a cue, he started sitting up, accidently using his dominant hand. The right one.

   Hissing in pain, he jerked his hand from the stiff comforter and accidently hit his head on the bed railing. This was the moment you can see Lance cussing his bad luck today. His face was red, from either anger or shame. But there were little stars flying over his head, indicating the dizziness that had yet to return again.

   “Man, you need Jesus.”

   Lance jumped at the sudden voice of someone familiar. He didn’t even notice the curtains were a little drawn back, revealing the person who just spoke. Without hesitating, Lance used his healthy hand and sat up again, making sure not to hit anything while at it. 

   He stared at the person in front of him. “What the hell are you doing here?” He asked, wondering if he was annoyed or pleased by the action. Who knows, maybe he’s up to something mischievous.

   Keith crossed his arms in front of his chest and closed his eyes momentarily. “Why do you want to know?” He asked and Lance wanted to laugh so hard, but when he tried to, it came out in the sound of a squeaky ducky. Thank you, headache.

   Lance blushed in embarrassment, wondering if his face was still red from his anger earlier. “Of course I wanna know why you graced me with your marvelous presence.” The Cuban boy crossed his fingers in hope his statement sounded sarcastic enough.

   It was confusing how he doesn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not. Part of him was glad to see Keith, the other part of him just wanted to punch his pretty face. On the lips. With his mouth…

_For God’s sake!!!_

   Keith’s eyebrows twitched in annoyance, which at that, made Lance straighten his back more and puff out his chest. He caught it as sarcasm. Good. _Good._

   “Teacher kicked me out of class, so I was wandering around, and,” Keith paused suddenly, a small silence erupting around them.

   “And?” Lance pushed, hating how awfully quiet he has gone.

   “And I happened to pass by the nurse’s office, so I just came in and heard you struggling from behind the curtains.”

   “Aw, little Keith is worried about me,” Lance decided to tease his rival, wanting to know how he’ll react to it. Lance hoped his voice didn’t betray him.

   Keith rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms, and placing one hand on his hip. Keith broke eye contact and stared at the wall, on Lance’s right side instead. “No,” he said firmly after another short silence. “I told you the teacher kicked me out. I’m just wasting time here. Probably will take a nap too.”

   “Right, right. And I happened to start World War II instead of Hitler,” Lance said in a mock convinced tone and dangled his legs to the side of the bed, wanting to finally stand up. He was still looking at The Texan for a clear explanation.

   But it was never provided. “Shut up.” Keith turned around and walked away, giving Lance a chance to observe him from behind. _Shit._

   Lance quickly looked away and focused again on his legs. Heart hammering and his head racing even more, which wasn’t a good sign for his headache.

   Legs are more important. He needed to stand up.

   His running shoes made contact with the floor. Then both his feet were fully on the ground. Holding onto the bed railing that he hit his head against earlier, was used to support him in standing up.

   So he did, and he did his best to stop his legs for moving around like an unstable jelly mountain.

   After waiting patiently for his legs to adjust to standing up again, he finally took his first steps, reminding him of the videos his parents once showed him. He was still an infant and these confusing excited giggles and babbles that came from baby Lance might have been a cute thing back when he was young.

   But now? Dear Lord. He will be super embarrassed if he fell or something. In fact, he doesn’t even know where Keith went after their conversation. It’s like the guy walked away and evaporated with the gas particles around them.

   Thinking about Keith now was sickening. But it was too late in stopping the train of thoughts that crushed his ‘critical thinking’ area. That’s a mad train, right there.

   Let’s be honest here. Lance couldn’t believe himself.

   Back then, when Keith escorted him to this office, he thought Keith was riling him up for a fight. But all what the guy was trying to do is get Lance back to his usual self.

   Heck, that didn’t bother him at all.

   What bothered his is the way Keith said it so _sincerely_ that it’s considered a sin!

   Can someone remind him how many times Keith was sincere to him? Probably none! But the Cuban couldn’t help it. For instance, he felt too giddy to think about his walking.

   He reached the scale that was situated beside the bed he had once laid in and congratulated himself for actually walking this short distance. He’s not exaggerating. He just needed time to adjust.

  “Lance!!” Lance was very happy to hear this voice right now, but before he could say anything, he was engulfed in a hug. He let out a confiscated squeak when he was squeezed and for a moment now, his feet were in the air.

   The taller male managed to find his voice to say, “Hunk! Hunk! Air!!!”

   Hunk apologized and let him down on his feet again. Lance held Hunk’s shoulder for balance as he saw the others enter. Pidge, followed behind him with Allura and Shiro.

   Pidge’s face lit up when he saw that Lance was all right. “Good to see you alive and kicking,” he said and Lance chuckled, happy to see his friends again. Shiro gave him a soft smile, while Allura demanded some detailed explanation on what happened.

   Shiro was filling her up with today’s events, until Pidge spoke up again. “Do you know what happened back then? Did the nurse tell you anything?” He asked.

   Lance forgot all about the nurse again. And he blamed Keith. “No, I was gonna search for her,” he announced, rubbing his pounding hurt head. Hunk kept asking questions, still worry in his voice, as Shiro was still explaining what happened earlier today to Allura.

   “It might’ve been a nosebleed,” Allura suggested, looking over at Lance once the explanation was over. Shiro nodded along what she said. “They said we’ll have our 6-month health examination tomorrow,” he recalled and Lance’s breath caught.

   He totally forgot about that! Now that he was reminded of it, he felt a little scared. What if there is really something with his health? What if something bad will happen to him more than today?

   Hunk then thought out loud, cutting Lance’s train of thoughts. “Are you sure it’s only a nosebleed? I mean, I don’t want it to be worse, but it didn’t look that simple when Lance coughed up blood,” Hunk rambled on, nervously glancing at everyone, his eyes lingering more on Lance in worry.

   Lance patted Hunk’s back. “It’s okay, buddy. I’ll be alright. No need to worry.” Lance gave Hunk a reassuring smile, which did work on his fellow best friend. Lance could feel Hunk relax beside him.

   He really wanted to comfort himself too, but he just couldn’t. He really hoped it was that simple to stop his brain from imagining himself in the worst situations ever. Trying to convince himself that everything would be okay seemed almost impossible. 

   It’s like wishing to get a Ferrari for free. Or maybe a mansion on the beach. **Or get a certain someone’s attention…**

 _Fuck you_ , Lance told himself, mostly indicating his thoughts. There was no time for these thoughts.

   “Did you call your parents?” Shiro asked, wanting to anticipate that -at least- Lance told them something. 

   The Cuban glanced down to his feet, moving his shoes slightly on the tiled floor, finding them more interesting than anything around him. “No,” he crooked out and then cleared his throat.

   He looked up again at Shiro, his hurt voice and sad expression long gone, wearing nothing but just a monotonous unreadable expression. It wasn’t Lance-like, as Hunk might suggest, but Lance can’t show that he was scared. 

   “I wouldn’t want them to worry about something so minor.” He said, faking the bluff in his voice. Like what happened to him didn’t mean much. That’s Lance-like, right? His over confident self was Lance-like.

   But Lance wasn’t sure it worked. Shiro was frowning, along with Hunk.

   The blue eyed male couldn’t justify if they were sad about him bluffing in this kind of situation, or disappointed in him for faking how he really felt.

   “But Lance. This wasn’t something minor. You looked like you were dying!” Pidge declared, and everyone nodded to his statement. 

   So they didn’t notice he was actually horrified of what might happen next. Good. _Great!_

   Although Pidge might have been right, Lance really didn’t want his parents to worry. He wanted to see his family more than anything really, but forcing them to come all the way here was plainly stupid. Even if he looked like he’s dying.

   Heck, as strange as this might come out from the Cuban boy, who dearly loved his family. Even if he was really dying, he wouldn’t want them to worry.

   Before Lance could reply, the nurse entered the office, making everyone look over at her in surprise. She raised a brow when she saw all these people in her office, but her eyes situated on a certain person. “I see. You’re doing fine now, Lance.” She smiled, dismissing the others, finding it okay to visit their friend after classes were over.

   Lance was happy he didn’t have to vocalize his answer earlier, but he was also a little scared that the nurse arrived. She came in too early. Sooner than he had expected.

   “So, we took care of your breathing problem and everything went well. However,” She stopped, writing something down in her notepad. “I want you to be here again at 7 in the morning.” Lance tilted his head to the side, confused.

   His friends were awfully quiet, and the way the nurse requested him this early the next morning, didn’t appeal to him. Why would she want him this early? Was this incident really more than a nosebleed?

   “Don’t worry. Hopefully, it’s nothing major. I just want you to be the first one to take the health examination,” She assured him, and Lance’s shoulders slumped a little. Maybe he felt a little relaxed now, but she said _hopefully_ , meaning there **is** something going on.

   The nurse has read his expression pretty quickly and she smiled, adjusting her notepad in her other hand, after finishing what she wrote. “It’ll be fine. No need to be tense,” Again, she tried her best to comfort Lance, but he couldn’t help but think of the worst-case scenarios in his head.

   The nurse looked at everyone now and nodded. “Now, everyone go to your dorms and continue your day.” With that she waved at them, almost kicking them all out. Upon the nurse’s request, the group of friends went outside of the nurse’s office. 

   Everyone was quiet while they walked through the campus and to the college gates.

   Lance wasn’t sure if they were doing this on purpose or not. Maybe they were trying to give him space with his thoughts? Maybe they didn’t know what to say after all this? Or maybe they just couldn’t care much about what happened and decided to torture Lance alone with his wild thoughts.

 _Bullshit_ , He said. _They care about me. If they didn’t, then why are they here?_ _Checking on me? Caring and comforting me?_

   Lance was exhausted from fighting his own thoughts. But he had to stop from depressing himself. All this conflict happening in his mind was weighing him down. He no longer felt lightheaded from the dizziness and the headache.

   It was the exact opposite. He felt like he swallowed the same set of baby rocks from earlier today.

   Allura was the first to break the silence when they finally reached the dormitories. “Lance. I believe that tomorrow, nothing bad will happen. So keep your hopes up.” Allura smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder when she stood in front of him.

   Everyone was smiling at him. He was thankful they were trying to encourage him, but why did he feel pitied?

   Does he look that pathetic? Does it seem like he really is helpless?

   Lance faked a smile, hoping it didn’t look like an awkward grimace. “Yeah. Thanks guys for visiting me.” At least that wasn’t a lie. He was really thankful they visited him.

   Although his insecure mind kept on telling him that he’s being pitied, he ignored it at all cost. His friends were supporting him, nothing less than that.

   “See you tomorrow,” Shiro said, while waving as he walked off with Allura, who gave Lance a small smile and left along side Shiro. Pidge, Hunk and Lance were the last ones together.

   “Well, as I said earlier. It’s nice to still see you alive,” Pidge joked, earning a groan from Lance. “Oh, believe me. I know you wished I were dead after complaining a lot today,” Lance joked back and Pidge punched his arm playfully, earning a small chuckled from the little guy.

   “True. But then, I want to be the one who kills you.” Lance gasped in mocked shock and acted hurt. “Pidge! That’s not nice!!” He protested, yet again earning a louder laugh from the said guy.

   “I’m coming later to crash at yours. See ya, folks.” The smaller male said, while turning around and waving at them. And, Pidge also left, leaving Hunk and Lance alone now.

   Lance turned to Hunk almost immediately as Pidge was gone and pouted visibly. “Hunk!” He whined out loud and Hunk laughed a little.

   The bigger male knew his close friend was still feeling a little bit insecure because of today’s accident. So he needed to cheer him up no matter what before tomorrow. And he knew exactly what would, since Pidge will come later today. 

   “It’s fine, bud. You’ve got your best man!” Hunk swung his arm around Lance’s shoulder, walking them over, closer to the college gates than the dormitory. Hunk looked at him with an all-knowing smile. “Pizza?” Hunk asked.

   Lance’s face immediately lit up at the suggestion. When Hunk said Pizza, it wasn’t only Pizza. It meant they’d sneak out of school, go to the neighboring pizzeria and convenience store, and buy whatever junk food they could get. It included ice cream, fries, chips and, of course, Pizza. When they return to their dorm with all that, they start watching movies with face masks on. Or play video games when Pidge would come over.

   This event was more suitable on weekends because they’d have time to do all that, but it didn’t matter now. Lance needed to forget about today as fast and soon as possible.

   “You know the key to my heart.” And with that, they strode along side to each other, singing horribly, still unashamed.

 _Today is a happy day_ , Lance thought positively, not wanting to care about what happened and dismissing all the negative thoughts of today. _Today is my day_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should come up with better chapter titles...


	3. Third Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter:  
> Lance has been taken safely to the nurse's office, and has been confronted with his crush. Again, that guy sure knew how to mess up with his feeling.
> 
> However, when Lance's friends finally show up and ask about his health, the nurse comes in and assigns him as the first person to examine for the college's 6 month health examination.
> 
> Lance didn't know how he felt towards that, so he relied on his close friends to cheer him up and keep him occupied. Only feeding positive thoughts into himself might be a good thing! Or it may be... bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I should put a warning or not regarding this chapter. But things got serious. Very serious to the point I had to put something witty in the middle to lighten the building tension.
> 
> I hope it will be an enjoyable journey with my crappy writing, but feel free to leave some feedback if you have some advice or opinions! I'd be glad to know what you think.
> 
> Okay, I'll shut up. Here's Chapter Three!
> 
> Happy reading~
> 
> Anti

   Even though it was a long day with his close friends, it was the best. They did all kinds of stuff. They played video games. Sang along cheesy yet catchy songs. Put on face masks and pretended to act like the Kardashians. Lance being Kim Kardashian because he thought he had the most amazing butt among the three of them. “Let the guy dream,” was the only thing Hunk told Pidge, before the younger male bursted Lance’s bubble.

   But all in all, it was wonderful, and Lance couldn’t be more thankful than that.

   Now that Pidge was gone and Hunk was passed out on his bed half naked, the Cuban realized that he couldn’t sleep. With that, it left his mind some time to add in the extra wild thoughts. It was passed midnight, and being as sleep deprived as he was now, he grimly made his way to the desk.

   Their dorm room wasn’t as huge as one might think, but it could take three people max. Nevertheless, Lance appreciated that they have two mugs and a kettle, so he can make your average coffee.

   If he’s not going to sleep, then why not add some caffeine in the package?

   Lance sure as hell knew he’ll regret this later, but he doesn’t care. He wanted to distract himself as much as possible away from the train wreck his thoughts were. They are horrible. He can’t control his thoughts and sometimes his mouth too, you know?

   It’s as if the brain-mouth coordination is a failed system of his. Truthfully speaking now, it never was successful in the beginning. He was always blunt, but not straightforward. Yup, there was a difference, and he’s glad for that.

   But still not glad for having a talkative nature. Lance imagined himself talking for hours, maybe about one of his favorite movies and such. His mouth would go numb from all the movement that it might fall off. And you know what will happen when his mouth falls off?

   He’ll continue talking anyway.

   A loud household was where he grew up in. Meaning, too much talking, too much laughter, it might be both good and bad. Good because his family always had the funniest jokes to share. Bad because they never seemed to shut up about something they valued dearly.

   But who’s Lance to talk about that? He had his own share, until he went to college.

   No beach to look at. No pizza shack to work in. Not much rain to dance under. No warm hugs from his mother. It felt like it was years ago, although it was almost three or four months since they had winter break. The students were allowed to visit their family by then, which he always did. He would never miss an opportunity like that.

   Lance took a sip from the coffee he has made and irked at the horrible taste, but shrugged it off later. He was desperate for caffeine, so it was this cup of coffee or be tortured in the cold with nothing to drink. Coffee was bitter by nature, but this cup of coffee was on a different level of bitterness. It might have been as strong as some Arabian coffee or Black coffee with no sugar. 

_Good grief._

   Plus, that was nothing compared to what his father drank. The old man usually drank very bitter coffee that Lance thought how his mouth never fell off or his taste buds never became numb from that energizing taste. Oh man, and the smell was so powerful, Lance might’ve coughed a little of inhaling too much air from that mysterious coffee.

   Again with mouths falling. What’s up with Lance and falling mouths today?

   It was nice. The little details he recalled once he was back home. Where his siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews would greet him. Along with the adults: grandparents, aunts and uncles and especially his parents. It would’ve been lovely to stay longer at their house again, but Lance already has set for his goals.

   He wanted to go to the Garrisons to be something huge. To become a good figure to all the little ones in his family, like his older brother. Or the countless cousins who became something as huge as well known doctors, architects and artists.

   Lance wanted to be something unique. Something this family couldn’t think off. Something they’ll be proud of. Since he was a Space boy, he was fascinated by everything related to Space. He still is, but the more he sees his opportunities now the more he sank in the deep realization that he wasn’t good enough.

   When he was a little boy, he talked and rambled for hours straight about Space. Always picking a name for himself like the ‘Sharpshooter’ or the ‘Sharpshooter ninja’. He still called himself that, but only Hunk and Pidge knew about it.

   The little boy, back when he was in elementary school, he would always say he’d become an Astronaut. He would fly to Space, and not only reach the Moon, but someday, miraculously, reach Mars and live there with his lover. Of course a young seven year old Lance was very inspired by Space. No matter what people told him, he never lost hope.

   However, now, it was clear. He entered the college that might help him become one, but he wasn’t capable of earning that position. He wasn’t the most athletic. He wasn’t the brightest. He wasn’t the type of person to leave his family behind for something as time consuming as being an Astronaut.

   An Astronaut left his house, everything behind, to dedicate his life to Space. They left their families, children, friends, homes, everything! It was something heroic to the tall male. They wanted this. They wanted to study Space. They wanted to explore every inch of it, if possible.

   Lance couldn’t find the dedication and devotion inside of him at all.

   He wasn’t that person who left everything behind. He wasn’t that person who would leave his family, even if it were for a job like that. He couldn’t find any speck of motivation after he entered this college.

   Now that he laid it off like that. What the hell was he doing here?

   Why is he here if he didn’t have a clear goal about his future? Why was he wasting money on something he does no longer feel confident about? Why would he do that to his parents when he clearly knew, he doesn’t stand a chance to become what he always wanted to be?

   So many questions, and he knew the answers to all of them. He just wasn’t that honest to declare them out loud. He was scared. He was scared every move he took might end up in a trap. A trap that might lead him to his doom. A trap that will lead him to a huge granite wall. Unbreakable, untouchable and unbeatable

   Reminded him of the person he hated the most. Keith Kogane.

   That guy could be a good Astronaut. He had good grades, good physique, and just some disciple issues that might be fixed. Lance envied him to the point of blind hatred. Lance didn’t knew why he hated the guy, he just did. Although this was a stupid childish reason to help him feel better, he knew beating around the bush and blaming other people was bad. But he just couldn’t help himself.

   He hated this specific guy to the point he grew some feelings for him.

   And you know what? It made Lance feel like a low life. It made him despise how his brain worked. He didn’t hate Keith. He hated himself. He just couldn’t find the courage to confirm that. He needed a reason, a person to despise.

   Imagining Keith as a punching bag would align with how he felt towards the shorter male. Punching this punching bag would bring him pleasure, boost his self-esteem, make him feel superior. It would be even better if he could break the hinges of this punching bag, but he knew it was no good.

   Lance glanced at his phone. _Four in the morning. Wonderful._

   Placing the empty mug down on the desk, he laid on his bed pondering even more. He yawned unconsciously and started to close his eyes. Maybe forcing some sleep will be good? Drinking a mug full of caffeine was not some hot milk you gave for a toddler so they can sleep, no. It was the exact opposite, but that wasn’t in Lance’s book. He’d sleep anyway if he just didn’t have a lot on his mind.

   And indeed, without realizing it, Lance drifted off to sleep, where his mind could happily annoy the hell out of him.

__________________________________________________________ 

   Lance was having a weird dream, and he was disturbed by it. 

   It was something about the way it made him super uncomfortable. Like the rainbows that shone in the background. Or all the bubbles that sparkled with glitter on them. Then multiple voices chimed in, in this unholy place and boomed, “YOU”RE GAY!”

   Lance’s eyes widen in horror at what he saw and started to scream unmanly. He’s not gay! He’s into females! A gay guy wouldn’t be interested in girls. No way he’s gay.

   But then his mind had the authority to flash him a picture of Keith. Lance wanted to punch it so hard, only to know that he’ll be punching himself. It was his brain playing around mercilessly with his peaceful sleep.

   “YOU. ARE. GAY!!” the creepy smiles of some random people showed up and Lance whimpered. _Why the fuck are they saying I’m gay?_ Lance thought, trying his best not to look at these abnormally creepy people, who were reaching out for him now. This rainbow was unholy enough, but the scenes that his brain flashed in front of him, made him want to screech.

   “Lance,” he heard them call for him and he mumbled death threats for whoever will touch him. “Lance.” The noises seemed to be fading in the background as an alarmed voice called for him.

   The alarmed voice called again, until he felt something hold his shoulder’s and he bolted at the sudden touch. “LANCE!” There stood his best friend, half naked, toothbrush in hand, bandana lying around his neck comfortably.

   Lance let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and hugged Hunk’s tummy. “I’m so happy you exist.” He cried into the flesh and Hunk raised a brow, asking for an explanation. The taller male was too occupied on focusing not to cry from horror; he almost missed what Hunk said next,

   “You know. It’s passed 7:30 am,” Hunk notified and the poor guy stood up quickly, grabbing some clothes from the wardrobe and running to the bathroom to clean up quickly. Lance was grateful deodorant and dry shampoo existed, or he’ll be doomed at the moment.

   Changing was easy, but the rest was history. He can’t go to the nurse with this mess, or she’ll just cold him. And probably by then, the whole college will know. He put a fair amount of dry shampoo on his hair and some deodorant under his shirt, brushing his teeth quickly.

   Spitting out the residues of the toothpaste, Lance raced outside of the dorm, thanking Hunk and racing to the nurse. He didn’t care for his hair at the moment. Being late almost more than 30 minutes was enough for him to get a small lecture.

   Running was okay, but sabotaging every obstacle wasn’t Lance’s thing. People were walking around constantly, doors opening up to the outside here and there, even things were thrown around, like textbooks or some small bouncy balls.

   It all annoyed Lance. But it was the only thing keeping him away from his crazy ass mind. What the hell was that dream?! He can’t even bring himself to describe it in words. It was frightening to the point he felt his privacy was terrorized.

   He is not gay. He still liked females. He might talk about guys here in there, but if someone thought he’s gay, he’s not. He liked to think that he is straight, but… that one guy that he likes is an exception. Like c’mon, of course you would have a crush on the same sex if they were hella attractive.

   Because for Lance’s case, that’s what happening for him now.

   He entered the nurse’s office safely and looked around, hope she wouldn’t be here to lecture him on being this late. Unfortunately, he was unlucky. Indeed, the woman was tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, her arms crossed over her chest annoyed.

   Lance smiled sheepishly at here, really not in the mood to receive a lecture the first thing in the morning. Sighing, she motioned him closer and he sat on the bed as she requested.

   “Being late for a health examination? I see you have some guts,” she said, her tone tight and preserved, as if she’s onto something. She did the usual doctor check, like seeing inside your ears, your mouth and testing other usual stuff.

   Until it came to extracting some blood as a blood sample to run some tests on.

   The blue eyed boy bolted in his seat. He moved his arm away from the nurse’s grip when she was draping an alcohol wipes on the visible vein and around it a little. He whimpered in fear. Needles weren’t his things. He had _very_ good memories with them that he doesn’t want to remember at all. She was holding a butterfly needle and that’s very mortifying.

   “Lance, it’s really fine. I’ll just extract some-“

   “NO! Don’t say it. Do not say it, please,” he begged, clearly not wanting to know what she’ll do to his poor arm. He hated needles. He had enough memories of terrifying needles that it traumatized him whenever he thought of it.

   The nurse sighed. “I know you don’t like needles, but that’s for your healthy, yeah?” Lance knew she was trying to help him, so he let her hold his arm -for now- and continued wiping on it. The dark skinned male took a huge breath, listening to every instruction she gave him. 

    Forcing his eyes to close, she said lightly “Here we go.” And pushed the needle in. Lance thought it will be much worse, but it still felt bad. It _always_ felt bad. 

    After what seemed like ages to him, she untied the strap from around his arm and told him to open his hand. So he did. The needle was out of his arm and the nurse wipes his little dot-like wound with the another alcohol wipes. She took the needle to another connected room ad gave it to a nurse, who Lance didn’t notice at all.

   “Results will be up soon,” she informed him and Lance slumped down on the bed. He was allowed to stay in the room and play on his phone. He was glad for that. If he wasn't distracted, he would have been worrying like a mama chicken searching for her chicks.

   When Lance looked up from his phone after a couple of minutes, he saw the nurse that drew his blood speed walk out of the room and somewhere else. Confused, he sat upright and raised one eyebrow at the other nurse.

   “Everything is cool. Nothing to worry about,” she soothed, her voice shaky. Lance had to stare at her a little more until he got an unsettling feeling. The two nurses were both shocked by the results. It’s all written on their faces.

   “You have to go to the hospital now.” The first nurse that examined him, rushed into the room and grabbed at his healthy arm, motioning him outside of the school. In her other hand, there was a clipboard with diagrams and some sticky notes. Are these his results?

   The guy started to protest, desperately demanding for an explanation on what’s happening. He doesn't need to worry, was all what she said. But how isn't he supposed to worry if she kept telling him he had to go to the hospital? Lance was imagining the worst case scenarios again, trying his best not to go overboard with his thoughts. 

   While being dragged down the hallways, students looked at him in worry or pity. He looked down at his bruised wrist. Today, the prideful Lance was feeling really insecure today. He would've easily told them to look somewhere else or ignored the stares and walked normally with false confidence, but now. This wasn't the day to act. This day was nowhere near normal. The nurse was dragging him down the halls like some little toddler in his rebellious phase. But he ignored all that, and concentrated on his wrist.

    _It has gotten worse..._

   The bruise on his wrist was way worse than yesterday's. The purple color was very dark, you cannot see it because of Lance's dark skin. It was there, and it had gotten even _bigger,_  spreading a couple inches above.

   The nurse said something Lance couldn't hear. Just looking at the bruise made him panic. Lance looked around him, trying his best not to look at it again, but he regretted that action. They were outside of the college building now, when they finally took a stop. Sabotaging making any eye contact with some students staring at him, he saw Shiro in the distance standing with a bunch of other guys in his class. 

   Their eyes locked for a moment. However, Lance looked away immediately and at the nurse, his eyes confused and aggravated. Why would he go to the hospital when he doesn't know the results yet? What could possibly be that severe to the point of sending him off to the hospital right when he finished his examination?

   She sighed and signaled him to wait a couple more minutes, but Lance can’t buy it. “What are my results? And why would I have to go to the hospital right after the examination?” He yelled a little bit too loud, not wanting to sound like he’s attacking her, but it totally came out like that. He spoke out his thoughts and he needed the answers now. 

   Before the nurse could say anything, the tall male could hear the sirens of the ambulance close by. Just by thinking about the ambulance’s sirens, made him a little claustrophobic. As childish as it may sound, he doesn't want to go to the hospital. Something about hospitals made him sick. He hated needles, hospitals and overly nice doctors. This combination was creepy enough t terrify him. 

   A buff medic with purple skin came out of the ambulance’s back and the nurse gave him the clipboard right away. “Can someone please explain what’s happening here?” Lance questioned, his voice wavering a little. He didn't know how to feel. Scared? Angry? Worried? Confused? Or a mixture of these four feelings? 

   The medic looking up at him with a mildly worried face. Why is everyone giving him this expression? Is it really something dangerously serious?

   Lance felt two guys behind him, urging him on the stretcher, so he doesn't lose his footing. He refused. If they will play with him like that, he had the right to know what was happening. It was his health. He had the right to know. “I won’t move unless I know what’s happening,” he responded stubbornly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. As he said, he won’t oblige until he knows what the hell is going on.

   He felt a lot of things at the moment. As if someone was happy to make some cookie dough for him. However, instead of using some cookie batter, they used his brain instead. It was stupidly making him go insane. Although he was covering it up by being stubborn and a little rebellious. He felt a lot of emotions at once. It confused him even more. It's like commanding a robot to raise its right arm, but instead it raised its left leg. Or swatting a fly away, only to make it come back and land at the same spot. It angered him to not know what is happening, and at the same time, he was confused an scared. 

The medic sighed, a little impatient. “Look. These results are kind of, _bad_. So we can’t be sure they’re accurate or not. **So** , we have to take you to the hospital to ensure that everything’s fine,” the medic explained hastily, flipping through other papers.

   Lance was even more confused. The guys behind him urged him to lay on the stretcher quick again and he refused again. He hated feeling stubborn and tiring these people who were obviously trying to help him, but he just couldn't buy that explanation. He knew the results are bad. But what exactly _are_ the results? 

   “What the hell does that mean? Of course the results are accurate. I don’t want to go to the hospital,” Lance protested, feeling a little like a child fighting stubbornly for the last cookie in the cookie jar. He hoped he doesn't go to the hospital, but of course, no one was even listening to him. 

   Seems like the medic caught his statement, because his right eye twitched visibly. “If you think it’s accurate then you should be taken right now to the hospital,” he said, again the guys behind Lance now telling him gently to lie on the stretcher. “I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you, but these were the principle’s orders,” the nurse added and Lance gulped. Is it that serious? Is it really that serious to the point the principle called an ambulance for him?

   Without questioning it further, in a state of fear, he obliged and laid down on the stretcher as said.

   “Hey! What’s happening here? Lance!” He heard Pidge’s voice in the distance and he looked over to where it came from. Shiro must’ve called the rest of them because Hunk and Pidge were racing to the van. The medic and nurse demanded them to stay away, reminding them to give the patient some space to breathe calmly. For sure now, Lance was panicking hard. It doesn't feel right to be on this stretcher, but he was glad he was able to breathe a little. Being claustrophobic and state of panic is not fine. _Never_ fine. 

   “It wasn’t just a nosebleed.” He heard the nurse announce to his friends who were worried and somewhat angry. It might have been a nosebleed from yesterday's striking hot weather and the sudden change of climate, but no.

   Lance recalled the events of what happened yesterday, while the two guys holding him up with the stretcher, walked to the ambulance cautiously. Coughing up blood could mean two things. And these two things differed in reason, action and care.

   One: It could be a nosebleed from the changing climate, as the nurse had **denied**.

   Two: It could be something more dangerous that he doesn’t even want to think about. Talking about it would make him sick, but eventually, it was established between the school nurse and the medic who came along with the ambulance.

   Fear seeped into him like hot water being poured into a huge mug. It burned. It burned a lot. The claustrophobia he still was undergoing, got even worse. He was scared. Scared of what might happen later. Scared of what might come out from all this chaos. What will happen to him? What will he face in the hospital? 

   Thinking about it now, they never told him what his results really were. It’s as if they were trying their best to ignore the results as much as possible, but what about him? He wanted to know. He wanted to know what the hell was causing all this problem. What did he get himself into?

   He could somehow hint some words from the conversation ahead, but the more he focused, the more he got dizzy from either panic or the tears forming in his eyes. “A blood vessel—” he couldn’t hear anything again. Maybe he didn't want to hear it. Maybe his little panic attack was getting worse. That would always be a mystery to him. 

   Lance felt his ears pop, his eardrums basically ‘drumming’ against his skull in a nagging manner. Heck, his vision blurred now. Like a camera zooming in and zooming out momentarily, too confused on what to do.

   But he could definitely make out his friends’ angry voices. Both of them wanting to know what’s happening too, but receiving no straight answers from the nurse nor the medic. Some teachers even came and solved this situation by ordering the students to go to their classes for their own health examinations later.

   Lance gulped audibly, looking around him once he was safely put on a roller bed inside the ambulance. The medic raced in quickly behind and closed the doors of the ambulance before anything out of hand happened. He can’t see his friends. He can’t hear their voices. The only thing he heard was the starting engine and the sirens blaring again. This was a nightmare. This was not true. This was not his reality.

   He was wrong anyhow. Completely, utterly wrong. It was definitely no one's reality but his. “It’s okay. We’ve got you covered.” The unfamiliar voice of the medic beside him spoke, while he felt a cloth being draped on his wounded wrist. He didn’t bother to make out the person sitting next to him exactly, but he knew it was the medic. An oxygen mask was put on his mouth to stop his claustrophobia from worsening. His little panic attack was subsiding with his eyes drooping a little.

   Lance felt tired and really exhausted. He didn't even notice himself that sleep deprived until his muscles slumped on the roller bed. He relaxed under the mask a little, knowing he’ll get some kind of shot for a blood transfusion again.

   After some blood was drawn out of his hurt wrist this time, it felt numb. It started to burn a little as it dangled by his side when he passed out cold, remembering how he was fine just some moments ago.

   Still…

_What is this huge mess that he got involved into?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter again, 'cause maybe the issue will be finally addressed in the next chap. Sorry...
> 
> God bless you, Lance. I can't say things will be okay or I'll be lying to myself the most.
> 
> But-
> 
> It'll be fine (hopefully).


	4. Fourth Beep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter:  
> Lance was sleep deprived when he thought back of his parents and family. He came across an important thought that made him question his existence in the college he attended. Was it worth it? Or was it a waste of his time?
> 
> But that wasn't the issue now. Not at all.
> 
> Being ignored by the nurses after a health examination was scary. No matter how many times he asked them for an explanation to why their faces paled and their mouths stayed shut, they only answered with: "You have to go to the hospital now."
> 
> That was rude and a huge objection for him. He hated hospitals a lot. But when he heard his friends call for him, he was already in the ambulance with the buffy, purple skinned medic.
> 
> Will he get his health examination results soon? Will he know the answers to his own questions earlier that day? It is still a mystery...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late chapter!  
> Teachers decided to be mean and gave us homework on the first day lmao. 
> 
> Also sorry about the different point of views and multiple time skips.  
> (I typed that in a rush, so I'll be editing it later when I have time)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading~ 
> 
> Anti

   Hours have passed already, teachers trying to calm down the other students. Hunk and Pidge wanted to go after their friend, but their teachers didn’t allow it. So they stayed in college like the  _‘good kids’_  they were. Of course, this all angered the two even more, but they couldn’t help it. Even if Lance heard about them getting in trouble to meet him, he’ll probably be upset. So now, they were seated in the library, counting the last minutes to get out of this hell.

   It all started with that one PE class. Hunk felt guilty and responsible for whatever that happened to Lance. Maybe Hunk didn’t pay close attention to Lance’s health? Maybe he was too occupied with trying to make Lance smile, to the point he didn’t see this coming? Maybe he didn’t make his best buddy happy at all after feeling a little down about his crush! Maybe-

   “HUNK!” came a whisper yell from beside him, making the big guy jump a little surprised.

   “What! What!” he looked around, whisper yelling back to the voice, which made him come back to the reality. He really didn’t want to return to it, but it’s too late to wish otherwise.

   Pidge was seated there beside him, not knowing what to say as they sat on the library chairs. The college principle has long called their best friend’s parents about Lance’s current condition, but they can’t come. Lance’s parents live in a whole different state. So it will definitely cost a lot of money and energy to come over to where their college was.

   Pidge sighed, his voice much quieter now. “I can’t believe they didn’t let us ride the ambulance with him. I mean, we’re literally his close friends. Why would they do that?”

   Hunk didn’t know the boy was staring at him, until he felt eyes burning his soul. He whirled his head to the side a little, his eyes darting nervously at Pidge, uncertain.

   “Y-Yeah! Of course, I can’t believe it too…” he answered too quickly, his voice cracking in the beginning of his unsure statement, making himself cringe. Pidge narrowed his eyes at him, cocking one of his eyebrows up exquisitely.

   “Tell me,” he stated casually, looking down at his closed laptop, which was seated on his lap.

   “I just,” Hunk started, feeling devastated by how this scene escalated too quickly for him to actually process it thoroughly.

   “I was so scared when I saw him cough up blood. He looked healthy and fine just minutes ago. But then seconds after, he was breathing for dear life. Like-like someone was choking him.” Hunk gasped in a rush, trying his best to keep himself composed. He was panicking, but he didn’t know how to recover from this incident. It scared him a lot.

   Pidge tired to calm himself down first, but he knew it wouldn’t help his built-up anger towards these stupid teachers. “Look, I know this is horrifying to see Lance in such poor condition, but,” he stopped, looking down at his phone to check the time. “We need to see him right after school. We only have like, less than three minutes already." 

   Hunk nodded, agreeing. He wanted to see Lance really fast. Just seeing his childhood best friend suffer through all this and go to the hospital alone? That’s nonsense to Hunk. He needed to be there beside him no matter what.

   Hunk felt a lump form in his throat as he stood up.

   Pidge watched him carefully. “He needs us beside him. We must support him, at least to make him more relieved,” He finished, gazing back at his close friend in question. The bell rang perfectly in time, like Pidge stated, making Hunk more determined to visit Lance now.

   Without saying a word, Pidge stood up from his library chair, both of them walking out of their college and going over to Hunk’s small SUV.

___________________________________________________________

   A blur. It all happened in a blur.

   Lance didn’t know what was happening at all. The last thing he remembered was seeing an angry Pidge and a completely anxious Hunk running to talk to him before he was carried to the ambulance. But, they failed to reach him and Lance wished they didn’t.

   He did feel some itchiness in his wrist at that time when he looked over at the growing bruise. As said before, Lance didn’t remember hurting himself at all. He didn’t bump into anything even. Anything other than that mysterious bruise, his legs feeling weak in PE class, being always breathless, the random headaches and the annoying coughs, he didn’t remember anything else. Unless he mentioned the nurses and the medic’s worried expressions.

   You ask how he felt about this? He felt like shit.  _Literal_  shit.

   And to add up to this shitty feeling, he finds himself in a hospital bed, already peacefully enrolled into a room of his own.

   Looking around, he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He didn’t know if it was either his own heart or the beats of the monitor beside him. The only thing he knew is that he didn’t like where he was at the moment. Not even a bit. Hospitals weren’t his thing. He never liked them. It’s not a phobia, but it’s definitely a fear.

   Sitting up was a bad idea. He almost knocked over the oxygen mask monitor off of its hinges.

   Letting out a sigh of relief when he caught the monitor just in time before it toppled over, he took his time to observe the room around him closely.

   The room was pale white. It lacked color and emotion to it. It’s very clean and shiny, it almost gave off an OCD type of feel to it. A heart monitor was beside him, along with an oxygen monitor on his left side.

   Lance looked down at his hands. His right wrist looked horrible, just like earlier this day. He didn’t have anything to do, but to stare at it and restate what he saw all over again.

   The purple bruise was big in size, making it reach a little further up his forearm. It even got deeper in color. Instead of it being a light purple, it became a dark amethyst. Closer to his wrist on the right, stood a blood transfusion stand, with a bag of blood hanging there. Where the veins would appear clearer, came out a blood sample tube out of it, which seemed to give him some blood.

   Blood? Why? Did he lose blood? Did he lose too much blood from that PE class when he coughed?

   He wanted to dismiss the thought of something horrible happening to him back at college. He couldn’t think of something positive. Staying quiet and optimistic was difficult now.

 _Blood_.

   Blood samples were being seeped in his body, meaning that he might have lost a lot of blood to get some extra.

   The Cuban shook his head, trying very hard to dismiss the thought of blood. The best answer now, was to wait and distract himself with something else. He needed to confront the medic who was in the ambulance with him. That guy was the only one who had all the answers, and he needed them.  

   But for now, the heart monitor was helping him pass time.

   Lance stared more at the heart monitor in awe, sometimes beeping along with his steady heartbeats, trying his best to stay calm and not panic about hospitals and needles. “Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee—”

   A doctor in a white coat entered the room, interrupting the dark skinned male in the middle of his lonely ceremonial beeping with the monitor. Wait, it was the medic! “Oh, good that you’re already awake,” the doctor spoke casually, his voice ringing throughout the room, causing Lance to wince from how loud it was. The doctor seemed to notice and apologized immediately. 

   He spoke again, after setting his notepad on the nightstand beside Lance’s hospital bed. The purple skinned doctor sat on a roller chair with a soft “Oomph,” escaping his mouth. His yellow eyes met with Lance’s blue ones as he began to speak again. “My name’s Thace. I’ll be your doctor for now, until we know what to do.”

   Lance couldn’t get himself to speak to the big guy, being too tired to utter a word or even exert the energy to open his mouth. Although he was beeping along finely with the monitor, he didn’t have any power to do so again.

   It felt like the energy drained out of him. As if you were bathing and decided to pull on the plug, watching as the water slithered between your legs and sank down the drain. It felt exactly like that, but instead of water escaping from around his body, it was energy and power being sucked out of his soul.

   It felt like he was ready to die. But not now! Too early to think of dying.

   “Currently, we had a little ‘chat’ with your parents earlier, but it seems like they’re living in a different state. Am I right?” Thace questioned, holding up his notepad and looking up at Lance with a raised eyebrow, inspecting.

   This made the Cuban boy’s eyes widen as he looked at the doctor in shock. He called his parents?  _Oh lord,_   _no_.

   “Can I-I…” Lance had to stop a little to wince again at his voice. It was dry, hoarse and raspy and he currently hated it. Even if he was talking through the oxygen mask, –which was already a harder task– he could still feel his voice waver.

   Doctor Thace seemed to think of this as an interesting discovery. He looked down at his notepad and wrote something down on it with a pencil wagging in his hand from the movement.

   The younger male took a deep breath, readying himself to sound fine and all right, so he can get his answers quicker. “Want to call them,” Lance finished, being thankful that he didn’t stutter this time at all.

   Thace was still too occupied with writing down something, not even looking up when he said, “First, tell me how you feel at the moment.”

   Lance couldn’t really justify how he really felt. He was tired, lonely, bored, neglected and lifeless. Maybe a little terrified also but he tried to be as calm as possible. Which wasn't that beneficial anyways.

   “Tired.” That’s the only word that he uttered before a nurse came in after knocking thrice and entered with a food tray. Of course, it was hospital food. This gooey, tasteless food they usually have. Lance knew all this just by looking at it. The texture was disturbing and most of all, it made him feel nauseous.

   The nurse smiled slightly at Lance pitifully and walked off outside the room, closing the door behind her to leave the doctor and the tired patient alone. Lance almost wanted to run after her and either ask for her number or plainly call her rude for looking at him that way. Of course, he wasn't considering the first option. Like, no way, no. The circumstances that pressured him don't allow that kind of banter... Okay, maybe just a little of flirting never hurt, right? Plus, he could really use a distraction.

   “You only feel tired? Nothing else?”

   When Thace spoke, Lance knew he had zoned out a little. He could feel the doctor’s eyes on him, so he glanced over at the bland like pile of food on the table beside him.

   The purple guy was staring at how Lance eyed the food in distaste and he spoke up again. “I’m sorry our food doesn’t please you. But we have to be cautious about what we give you before we know what’s going on,” Thace apologized and Lance looked over at him with a deep frown. 

   “Not hungry,” He whispered and Thace raised a brow in question. He wrote it down on his notepad, writing how Lance felt tired and was not hungry after the boy’s long nine-hour nap.

   Thace already wrote down the familiar symptoms that he saw on Lance. How there was a bruise on his wrist. Red spots on his back and face. (He made sure these weren’t white heads at all; so he took note of it to make sure). How the college student’s breathing was way too unstable to go unnoticed. It was shocking how these symptoms could lead to something dangerous, but he had to make sure before making the grand announcement 

   Lance shifted a little on his bed and grumbled when he used his injured wrist to prop himself up more, _again_. He can't help it, okay? His right hand is his dominant hand. He had to use it here and there or it will feel foreign to him. Even though, he felt foreign in this hospital with that doctor Thace. It wasn't natural to him. It wasn't his exciting routine back in the dorms with his friends, doing adventures and sneaking out of college to get the greasy food when they have weekends. 

   “Pain,” He whined silently to himself and Thace decided to stand up and take Lance’s hurt wrist. 

   You can see that there were faint red spots there too, that definitely weren’t white heads. “Any pain here?” He tried to pulse on the bruise and Lance winced again. It did hurt, but not a lot. Thace got the silent message and moved his hand up, as he pulsed on Lance’s arm joint, right behind the elbow. 

   Lance flinched immediately at the first pulse, feeling it hurt way too much to hide the little squeak that escaped his mouth.

   The doctor left his arm, confirming this as a sign of limitation. He sat back down on the chair and retrieved his notepad to write the symptom down. 

   Lance sat quietly there, staring at the food once more but then gazed somewhere else. He looked up at the clock for the first time since he came here and saw that it was five pm. Normally by now, he would eat lunch with Hunk in their shared dorm. But why isn’t he hungry? And, where is Hunk?

   He could only wish for one thing. He really hoped Hunk and Pidge didn't get in trouble for his own sake. Lance knew Pidge would go berserk if told no to something he really wanted to do. Nothing could stop that little guy from doing what he believes in no matter what. **That's** what made him stand out among other naturally smart people. He had a passion of learning and challenging himself. He also never gave up, working relentlessly with all the hopes and determination, knowing that whatever lies down his own road, will be reached someday. Lance really admired that in him and he really wished he had some of this faith Pidge had between him and his beliefs. 

   Hunk on the other side, was down right perfect. The guy was a sweetheart, a great cook, a smart engineer and the best supportive childhood best friend you could ever ask for. Lance remembered the very first time he told Hunk about his crush. The big guy was very happy, always saying he's proud or either tease him along with Pidge about it. Hunk was the kind of person who would worry like a momma chicken waiting for her chicks to join her. He does worry a lot and is nervous most of the time. That's part of his nature. He was skeptical and reasonable, also a reason why he takes his time in trusting people. But if he's put at ease, he's the definition of 'low-key'. 

   Being pulled out from his trance-like state, he looked up at Thace, seeing the older male still writing some notes and checking Lance's heartbeat and Respiratory rate. Loud voices were heard in the hallway. However, there weren’t any wheeling noises with it, indicating they’re rolling in another patient to a room. This time, there were loud steps, some banging against the ground as a result from the multiple footsteps and loud threatening voices. It didn’t sound right to Lance, but he sure recognized these voices whenever he went.  _They came._  

   The door of his room slammed open and there they stood, Hunk and Pidge. Behind them stood Shiro and Allura. Lance couldn’t help himself but smile slightly behind his mask, tears welling up in his eyes.

   “Lance! Thank god!!” Hunk yelled, tumbling over to the sick boy, but was immediately stopped by Doctor Thace who stood up in front of Lance’s bed.

   The doctor blocked Hunk and Lance away from each other as he spoke uncertainly in a loud voice. “Visiting hours didn’t even start.” Lance watched as Pidge stood in between the two men and gave the doctor an impatient glare.

   “I believe visiting hours do begin at 4:45 pm in this hospital, by the nurses justification too. Plus, our close friend is awake.” Pidge spoke to Thace with a determined tone hanging in his voice, while Shiro came up beside them and gave the doctor a sheepish apologetic smile.

   “We also want to be there for him, as his guardians too.” Thace hesitated, but he knew better. He sighed and nodded in the end, forgiving the sudden intruders. The doctor knew well that Lance’s parents wouldn’t come anytime soon to support him. They actually told him that they would want Lance’s friends to visit their son instead of themselves. Commonly, a doctor wouldn’t give in to something as chaotic as that so he can keep everything under control, but mysteriously, he shared a sympathetic bond with Lance, along with his friends. 

   Thace stood up from his chair, his notepad still in hand. “Please don’t do anything reckless. He needs to breathe properly. If there happens any problems, call a nurse.” Without a single word said after, he left the room, closing the door behind him to give the college students some privacy.

   Lance was the first to speak. “Can’t believe you came. I,” Lance held back a sob, being too moved by what they said. They were here for him, at least instead of his parents. The last thing he wanted was, his parents to come all the way here and worry too much about this. But with his friends by his side, he couldn’t be any happier. He really doesn’t know how to thank them for just showing up here.

   “Of course we won’t leave you behind, buddy,” Hunk spoke, hugging Lance lightly, and earning a chuckle from his best friend. The soft smile on Hunk’s face seemed to falter as he took notice of the enlarged bruise.

   “What did the doctor say?” Pidge asked, before Hunk could comprehend the same question. The four other students huddled up to Lance, each two standing on a side of the bed. Allura and Shiro on Lance’s left, and Hunk and Pidge on the right.

   Lance shook his head as an answer and everyone looked at him, confused. “Running tests,” he answered simply and everyone nodded understanding.

______________________________________________________

   They spent the next hours, talking, chatting, laughing and joking.

   Lance almost forgot what happened to him this morning. He was happy to feel that way even if it was for a short while. He felt alive, awake and aware of what’s around him. The buzz traveled across the room whenever someone talked. Or the static that shot into the easy-going atmosphere when someone laughed. Lance was glad to have his friends with him. 

   However, the grateful energy was short lived when the nurse from earlier came in and told them the visiting hours were over. It sure was late, 10:15 pm.

   “You have classes tomorrow. You better go,” Lance insisted, not wanting any of his friends to stay with him even if he really wanted to. He was glad he found his voice again after talking a lot with his them.

   It was a lovely night. It made him feel extremely better. He would feel lonely later without anyone beside him. But still, he wouldn’t dare make his friends suffer and stay in late for his own selfish needs. 

   “You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Hunk asked, still unsure, knowing Lance would get pretty lonely if left alone for a very long time in silence on his own. Lance really wanted Hunk to stay, but he nodded anyway, sending his final words of farewell, before they leave the room.

   Hunk did linger a little bit, still not wanting to leave his best friend. Lance gave him a small smile, which reassured Hunk a little bit. 

   Allura wished Lance to get well soon, while Pidge waved at him. He waved back and thanked the dark skinned girl for her kindness. Pidge soon dragged Hunk out of the room and onto the hallway.

   Allura urged Shiro to leave Lance alone so he can rest. Shiro was about to leave, but then he remembered that he had to tell Lance something.

   “Oh Lance, right.” Shiro came back before the door closed on them and walked up to Lance’s bed again. The Cuban boy raised his eyebrows in surprise, being a little tired now that he remembers how much he got too enthusiastic about his friends coming to visit him.

   “I’m sorry, Keith couldn’t come. I believe he had some business to do, so he couldn’t tag along.” Just mentioning the name was enough to make Lance’s heart do some summersaults from the certain excitement.

   Lance’s heartbeat seemed to race a little as they both heard it in the heart monitor’s beeping. The younger boy blushed in embarrassment, his eyes widening a little from shock. He held his blanket up to hide his face. Too much! If Shiro really found out the reason behind this rapid beeping, Lance is doomed for life.

   His eyebrows perked up when he heard Shiro laugh lightly. Curiously, Lance raised his head up, only to meet Shiro’s kind smile.  _Oh shit, did he get the hint? Did he figure it out?? Am I **doomed**???_  

   Lance knew he had to say something, or he’ll die from overheating. He doesn’t know if his face was the only thing on fire, because he felt it all across his body, which wasn’t healthy, at all. “I-It’s fine. He can come, next time.” Lance cursed under his breath for stuttering, but he couldn’t help how embarrassed he felt.

   Shiro patted Lance on the head and ruffled his brown dusty hair. “Sure he will. Take care, yeah? See you tomorrow.” The older student waved off, walking outside the room with one final smile sent to Lance.

 ** _Silence_**. Nothing to be heard, but the heart monitor again.

   Frowning at the sudden realization, the feeling of loneliness started to kick in faster than expected. Sure, he knew he’ll feel that way, but it kicked in too fast, that it overwhelmed him.

   Suddenly, the air around him was chilly and deserted. No warm bodies in the room. No loud happy laughter and chatter to excite the atmosphere. No smiles of reassurance when Lance totally felt secluded in this ruthless cold. It was too harsh; it hit him like an invisible truck to the face.

   He can’t help it. He was the one that sent them off, might as well deal with the consequences on his own. Wincing for the fourth time today, he tried to situate himself, to lie down on the bed and at least, try to sleep the loneliness away, but he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t sleep because of two things.

  1. He already slept more than five hours ago and;
  2. There were loud footsteps outside,  _again_.



   Lance huffed out, totally annoyed by all this hassle around the hospital. Although it’s been very long since Thace came in to check on Lance, he tried to think of something else. Should he call the nurse for company? No, that’s creepy. Should he request Thace and talk to him about his college’s health examination? He would ant that, but for some reason, he doesn’t want the answers now. He felt very discouraged and not ready.

   White walls, white ground, white bed, white equipment, it made him feel weird. The eerie feeling of this hospital room was again, scary. Lance didn’t give I much attention in the last five hours because of his friends. But now that he’s alone and still aware of what’s around him, he can fully register the room. And he wished he couldn’t.

   He wished he could just slip into a coma and sleep the pain away. If the coma was to sleep for a long time and dream of a fantasyland, then he wouldn’t mind. It sounds better than sitting here, trying to force himself to sleep.

   But other than forcing himself to sleep, did he mention the loud footsteps?

   Yeah, it seemed like the person outside of Lance’s room was trying to find the room where their relative stayed. They kept on walking back and fourth and it annoyed Lance. He almost thought of going out and just straight out insult them.

   Lance knew that he shouldn’t yell or insult anyone at hospitals, but the loud footsteps were tempting him. The person outside obviously knew nearly nothing in respecting said patients who were trying to sleep.

   Cussing for the millionth time today, Lance heard his door creak open.

   Instead of wishing it were the nurse, his friends or even Thace, this time, it was a single person standing in the doorway staring at Lance. The Cuban tried to guess whom it was, since he couldn’t really make out their face.

   But definitely, he knew this limited height belonged to someone he knew by heart. The brown belt hanging lousily around their waist. Their mysteriously beautiful amethyst eyes glowing whenever they went. And this...  **mullet**!

   ……. 

_Fuck_

   A small gasp threatened itself out of his mouth, as his mind seemed to shut down completely.  _It’s him! He fucking came! HOLY SHIT!!_

 _Keith Kogane_  was in the same room as Lance,  **alone**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, just to inform you, I'll edit this later.  
> Maybe if I find some grammar mistakes or spelling mistakes, I'll change them later.  
> So I hope you're not disturbed by the quality of this chapter.  
> (I tried my best in writing this under 30 minutes, so please spare meh!)
> 
> But thanks for reading! If you have any suggestions or ideas you want to share, I'm alway happy to listen!
> 
> See ya in de next chapter!
> 
> (Edited- 1:11 am. Aug, 25, 17)


	5. Fifth Beep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter:  
> Hunk and Pidge were angered about the teachers being mean and not sending them after their best friend to check on him. So they has to stay there till classes were over.
> 
> Lance, on the other hand, had all the time alone, thinking, doubting himself, and repeating that action all over again. Then, he met the medic who came with the ambulance earlier that day, named Thace.
> 
> After going through some questions with Thace, they were interrupted with Lance's friends barging into the room, saying the visiting hours do start now. He was joyed to see them as they joked, laughed and chatted together. He felt enlightened and happy with them being with him, but eventually it was time to leave. Lance, once again, was reunited with his thoughts all alone. 
> 
> However, this didn't last forever, since an unexpected guest made an appearance in his hospital room at 11:00 pm.
> 
> Who else could it be other than the lovely Keith Kogane himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little too short.  
> I had to perfect it, so it fit the events of the next upcoming chapters.  
> Just... be ready. Things will get a little... T~T  
> But anyway, I wish you the best in trying to enjoy this crappy chapter >.>
> 
> Happy reading~ (hopefully)
> 
> Anti

_Shit. **WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!**_

   His heart leaped again, the heart monitor beeping rapidly. He cursed the monitor under his breath as Keith was too distracted with regaining his breath than to notice the constant loud beeping. Or he did notice the heart monitor beeping faster, but he was kind enough to not point it out. Lance couldn’t be more embarrassed or rather thankful at the moment.

   “Seems like I’m late,” he commented, straightening up his back. Still panting a little, Keith made his way to Lance’s bed.

   Which was definitely a bad idea. Lance was not expecting this! AND he hated surprises. Especially the ones who could give him a freaking heart attack!

   The blue-eyed boy tried to calm his heart down by breathing steadily through his mask. But it never seemed to work. His heart was betraying him, and that wasn’t anything new to him.

_Why is **he** visiting me alone? At eleven fucking pm? Doesn’t he have classes tomorrow too?_

   Lance wanted to ask him why he was here very late and alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to break the short awkward silence. He didn’t have that confidence when he’s especially around that guy.

   But eventually, things took a horrible turn of events.

   Keith was now looking over at the heart monitor in silence, finally being aware of the loud rapid beeping. Lance chose not to panic. Panicking will make everything worse. He can feel his heart knocking against his ribcage, almost threatening itself to burst out of his body.

   Scratch that part of not panicking and staying calm. Keith’s gaze was now locked on Lance. The taller male chose to maintain eye contact, not wanting to look away, or everything will be downright embarrassing.

   So, he decided to say something to break this threatening awkward silence. “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!” Lance protested, using his thought earlier as a little white lie. It did work, since Keith’s shoulders relaxed a little and he sighed.

   “Well, sorry for almost giving you a heart attack.” Rolling his eyes, Keith sat down on the roller chair Thace was sitting on earlier today. “Um, what happened before,” Keith paused, pointing a finger on the bed Lance was sitting on. “Before all this... happened?” Keith asked, his voice steady after panting for a while now.

_Was he running? Wait, did he run all the way here from the dorms to see me? Whoa whoa, calm down McClain, not so fast. That guy probably was forced to come here because of Shiro._

   Lance shook his head, dismissing his useless thoughts, trying to focus on how to form his sentence before talking.

   “Well, yesterday, the nurse requested me to come to her office at 7 in the morning today for my health examination,” Lance explained, while shrugging and Keith nodded, following along the story. Lance took of his oxygen mask before he could say another word, because his jaw started hurting him, and he needed to ramble and complain a little.

   “But I came to her office a little late.” Lance had to pause a little to shiver at the dream he had. He glanced over at Keith, only to see Keith gazing back at him. Looking away quickly, he felt his cheeks heat up from the thought of thinking back on that disturbing dream.

   Lance took a deep breath, and continued again, ignoring his soaring thoughts. “After some small tests and having my blood drawn -which was horrifying-, the nurse told me I have to got to the hospital,” Lance shivered a little as he huffed, still not believing he managed to stay calm while that nurse drew some blood out of him. Also, he still can't believe he was sitting there on a hospital bed. The two fears he had were: needles and hospitals, and weirdly enough, he overcame them today.

   But no, he was still scared. He still hated these two things with a burning passion. Lance doesn't really remember why, since the memory was fogged up in his head, but he knew he hated. Whatever it was that made both of these things on Lance's immediate blacklist, he can't even think of staying calm while he was seated on a _hospital_ bed.  

   “So, they didn’t tell you anything? Just told you to go to the hospital?” Keith asked, his tone showing some disbelief in it. Lance nodded hastily, his eyes wide as an owl’s while he started flailing his left arm a little.

   “Yes! Can you believe this? Instead of telling me what the hell was going on, they just ignored me and tossed me around like a Ragdoll!” Lance complained, his dramatic sense returning back to him, long forgetting about his fears.

   Keith had soft wide eyes too, staring at the busty brown male in little disbelief. “This is stupid and chaotic.” Lance, once again, nodded in agreement, crossing his arms above his chest now, and looking ahead of him at the closed TV hung on the wall in front of him.

   Lance grumbled. “I know, right? And I still don’t know what’s going on,” Lance then sighed, resting his head back on the pillow, his back a little tilted. He really hated not knowing what’s going on when it came to something important. Especially if it involved him. It made him question the possibilities of the situation he was tagged in.

   There stood a silence. This time it wasn’t awkward, but rather, relaxing. Both of them now were seated, quiet and thinking. Both lost in their own thoughts for a short while. Until Keith spoke up and broke it. “You know. You have the right to ask for answers. I mean, it is your health after all,” Keith suggested, encouraging Lance to demand answers from the medic.

   The atmosphere around them changed. It wasn’t the relaxed silence from before. Or the awkward silence that threatened them to speak up before it turned even more awkward. It was the kind of atmosphere that had a hidden feeling to it.

   It felt more sympathetic than empathetic, but it still felt dangerously vulnerable. It’s as if you poked it, it will crumble and hide away from you. Lance felt weird. He never experienced these kinds of atmospheres with anyone. Unless he mentioned interviews about part time jobs back in High School. Or when he always had to be the perfect wingman for his older brother, back in the days were he still lived with his family. Or when he had to support his mother with the Pizza shack and bring in a ton of customers along with his younger siblings when his father wasn’t around to help.

   He felt if he said anything wrong, he would damage something meaningful to either of them.

   Lance looked over at Keith, his eyes narrowing a little, feeling strange about how the atmosphere around them changed quickly. “Wait a minute. Is that the bonding moment feeling that you’ve been talking about so often before?” Lance wished the answer was yes, but he really wanted Keith to deny it in some way. He doesn’t want this mood to stay afloat around them or it will drive him crazy. Maybe even lead to a confession he doesn’t want to make…

   He knew he said something that totally broke the ’bonding moment’ mood, and was instead replaced with the natural one. The burning tension. Lance could justify just as much by the way Keith rolled his eyes at the weird remark.

   “You pay attention to the stupidest details and leave out the important information.” Keith announced, his teeth obviously gritted from impatience. You know the usual. Lance had to act like an idiot in front of his crush so he can seem oblivious and more stupid. But, he stood up for himself, covering his idiotic. Blame his brain-mouth coordination. He didn't think properly before he spoke up.

   “Seriously? You’ve been the one whining all about this ‘bonding moment’. _We had a bonding moment!_ _I cradled you in my arms!_ HOW CAN YOU EVEN BALME ME FOR FORGETTING??” Lance mimicked Keith, sassily putting a hand on his hip and rolling his eyes dramatically.

   Keith grumbled at the act, raising his fingers while talking, indicating that he’s counting on them. “Firstly, I don’t sound like that. Secondly, last year you were pushing yourself off the edge in studying for our literal piloting exam. You were sleep deprived at the library and you had to sleep. So I did what’s right and helped you.”

   “You know I would’ve been fine without your help,” Lance answered and Keith snorted. “Yeah, right. As if the next day you would’ve stopped complaining about how your back hurts from sleeping on the library chairs if I didn’t save you back then,” Keith retorted, leaning forward now and uncrossed his arms and legs, to look more closely at Lance.

   “Really now? Did you ever sleep on the library’s sofa? No, so I would’ve still survived without you _saving_ me.” Lance was now narrowing his eyes again and spoke up once more. “Plus, you kept on whining about you cradling me in your arms and desperately calling it off as one of the rarest ‘bonding moments’ we’ve ever had!’

   Keith’s right eye twitched, as his hands slam against his thighs, making Lance jump a little in surprise from the slap-like sound. “You said to not blame you on forgetting what happened in this situation, but seems like you remember it perfectly fine,” Keith nodded, pursing his lips out, analyzing the current case a little.

   Lance knew he was busted. He knew exactly what happened back then, and he’s guilty enough to say that he enjoyed it. It was really one of the rare moments they were found helping each other out. But he got caught remembering it and he can’t say anything back.

   Never mind that. Keith knew how to handle situations when Lance was lost in replying to the angry cowboy. “Bonding moment or not, you always ruin everything. No wonder you still don’t know what’s up with you up until now.”

   Lance gasped, pointing a threatening finger towards the shorter male, his eyes wide in disbelief. “You take that back right now!”

   Keith crossed his arms, a scoff escaping his mouth, as he leaned back and crossed his leg over the other. “I’m a man of words, Lance. I know what I’m saying,”

   “Oh yeah? What do you know? You only pick fights with me to show you’re better. We get that, Keith. We all know I’m no match against you. So quit the bullshit already.”

   Before both of them could rile the other even more, Thace entered the room, multiple papers in hand, along with another doctor who had an orange moustache that matched his hair color.

   “You better put that mask on right away,” Thace ordered, almost glaring at Lance for disobeying him. Shocked by the sudden appearance of the two older males, Lance quickly held up the mask and adjusted it against his mouth, not wanting to be scolded by his doctor.

   The purple buff guy eyed Keith a little unsure whether to comment on the late visiting time or just let it be. He chose the latter option, knowing Lance would want some company.

   Thace spoke up calmly and softly, knowing the news that are about to be shared aren’t meant to be sugarcoated in any way. “After running some tests and checking the prognosis, we came to a conclusion,” Thace shared and again, his eyes darted to Keith in question, finally speaking up because it bugged him a lot.

   “Are you also one of his friends? Because if so, kindly leave. I don’t want to be rude, but visiting hours are over and these news are meant to be shared among spouses or family members only.” Thace’s voice was totally showing impatience and annoyance, which wasn’t good of a doctor, but he had the right to question Keith’s strange appearance in the room.

   Lance gulped and looked over at Keith. He doesn’t know what to do, but he seemed to automatically look a Keith, relying on him with something he can’t comprehend. Soon, Keith caught Lance’s gaze and they locked eyes for a moment, both sharing a strong silent conversation.

   It was clear that Lance doesn’t want to be alone at all at this moment, and it was also clear that he needed someone to hear the news with too. He couldn’t’ take that burden alone without having to talk to someone about the news. Lance knew it was pathetic and embarrassing to choose Keith as the person to share this meaningful moment with, but he had to take that action before he regretted anything.

   Whatever the news that may come, he didn’t want to admit it, but he wanted Keith to be with him. No no, maybe that was wrong of him to say, but he selfishly would announce it as _needing_ Keith to be here with him. Present and available.

   Keith knew about Lance’s parents living in another state, and the way Lance was giving him that foreign look, made his fingers tingle suspiciously. He needed to make a decision. Here and now.

   Keith looked up at Thace and the other moustache doctor, who stood silently beside the purple skinned guy and spoke up casually, like it was second nature to him.

 _"_ Maybe I’m not a close relative to Lance, but his parents entrusted me the most to take care of him for them, when they’re not around.”

   Everyone was staring at Keith by now. Lance not believing what he just heard and Thace still narrowing his eyes on Keith, unsure.

   Lance composed himself quickly and stepped in when Thace was starting to doubt the whole situation. “Yes. That’s why I wanted to call my parents earlier. To ask them about… about Keith!” Lance grimaced at Thace, as the purple doctor was still not convinced.

   “You sure about that? I heard your yelling from outside of the room.” Thace raised a brow. Lance and Keith spoke up at once, both sweating a little nervously, not wanting to get caught lying.

   “POSITIVE!” Lance yelled.

   “100%” Keith said as calmly as he could manage after.

   Thace let it slide for now but still eyed them skeptically with his yellow piercing eyes. Good thing that the purple guy soon changed the subject. Wait, that wasn't good! Lance didn’t prepare himself to hear anything just yet!

   “This is doctor Coran, a hematologist. He’ll be having you as his patient from now on.” Just by this sentence, Lance’s heart sank to the deeper pits of his stomach.

_What…?_

_Hematologist? Why?_

   Just as Coran was about to speak up some details, Keith’s hand slithered over Lance’s shaking one hesitantly, laying his warm hand above Lance’s healthy wrist gently. Lance felt the skin of his wrist tingle, sending electricity all up his arm. Even though Lance knew this move was just to encourage him, he couldn’t help himself but feel a little desperate for affection and support.

   Without thinking twice, Lance instead grabbed Keith’s hand and gripped it hard, intertwining their fingers together, like they already grew accustomed in holding hands.

   Thace looked down at the paper, not wanting to make eye contact, as Doctor Coran was the one who spoke. “I’m sorry, Lance. Your school’s health examination and the tests we ran all show that you have _Acute Myeloid Leukemia_. Shortened as AML which is Blood Cancer in the bone marrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To whoever's mad about the cliffhanger...  
> *whispers* I'm sorryyy.  
> Imma just go now and cram in some ideas so I don't slam into a writer's block!  
> See ya in de next chapterrr! 
> 
> Buh-Bye


	6. Sixth Beep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter:  
> Lance gets an unexpected visit from the one and only, Keith Kogane.  
> They spend their time bickering and bantering like some little children in middle school complaining about their stupid teachers who didn't know how to do their jobs well.
> 
> But,  
> All fun and giggles aside now, shit's about to go down!  
> It's not funny to joke about some kind of disease or condition that might affect your lifespan.  
> The cancer jokes or any disease jokes you see in memes and all that stuff, it's not funny.
> 
> At least not to Lance, since he doesn't know how to react to such kind of thing.  
> Is it really true he has leukemia? Is there something he's forgetting? Why can't he explain his blind hatred to hospitals and needles?
> 
> Lance is still a little confused puppy, sitting on a bed, not knowing what the hell he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT! READ THIS BEFOR CONTINUING!
> 
> Okay, let me get this out.  
> I am not a doctor or even studying anything related to medicine or whatsoever.
> 
> This is a fictional story, with fictional characters.  
> (Characters belong to Voltron, of course. Except the plot of this story which belongs to me).
> 
> I'll try my best in making everything sound natural and realistic.  
> But I might miss some definitions or concepts here and there.
> 
> Just, please be cooperative and know that I'm no professional in this field of study.  
> Late update, 'cause it was a really busy week.  
> But! To please you, this chapter is much longer and filled with feels, so yep. 
> 
> (Also, I know near 'nothing' in Spanish, so I won't use it a lot... ^^;;)
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. Now enjoy!
> 
> Happy reading~
> 
> Anti

_What…?_

   Without thinking much, Lance unconsciously left Keith’s warm hand, so he can sit up more upright, feeling a little empty from the lack of warmth. “No. That definitely isn’t true,” Lance laughed slightly, giving the two doctors a look of pure terror and disbelief.

   His voice cracked a little. “You must have mixed my reports with someone else. That’s definitely not me.” Lance doesn’t know how to react, but he seriously didn’t believe anything that was just told. “If you’re playing any kind of prank or joke, quit it. It’s not funny!” He swallowed back a gasp, almost choking on it if it wasn’t for the oxygen mask’s help. The dark skinned male looked between the two doctors completely petrified.

   Coran sighed, and stepped in to speak. “Lance, we won’t tell you fake news. We are currently researching all the past documents you had in the former hospitals you have visited throughout your life.”

   This was not his report. This was _definitely_ not his prognosis. He was fine. His health was totally fine. Leukemia? Hematologist? He didn’t need all that! He was perfectly fine!

   “But I’m perfectly fine!” He yelled out his thoughts through the oxygen mask, his hands shaking slightly in disbelief as they gripped the hospital bed’s armrests. His breathing was still uneven, but his heartbeat was pacing horribly fast. He doesn’t like the sound of the rapid beating in the background, but it’s not good. Lance knew it’s not good by the look on the other three males’ faces.

   Whether it was his own delusional thoughts playing with him or not, he knew he was in deep trouble. It all happened in slow motion.

   Thace dropping all the pile of papers he was holding. Coran rushing to Lance’s side, while Keith backing away as the orange haired doctor ordered him to.

_Keith…_

   Lance couldn’t look at him. He was ashamed. Ashamed for talking so harshly towards Keith, when the other guy was totally joking with him. Lance hated himself. And he, for sure, didn’t want Keith to see him so miserable like that.

   In the middle of a panic attack? Hah, he already seems so little to Keith right now, to the point the said guy walked out of the room. But not before turning around and giving Lance that one look.

   The look of **pity**.

___________________________________________________________________

_The smell of freshly fried bacon flooded up his nostrils. The feeling of that familiar comforter under him. The dry breeze that hit his face here and then. These signs were very familiar; Lance thought they were almost surreal._

_Opening his eyes out of shock, he sat up immediately and looked up at his current surroundings. Although he had rigid breathing, the first things he noticed, was the room he was in. He wasn’t in the hospital room at all. No hospital gown. No oxygen mask. No heart rate monitor with a transfusion tube. But…_

_The familiar twin sized bed with the blue bed sheets he sat on. The medium sized window on his left. Under it a pastel blue desk with huge Calculus, Aerospace Engineering and Cosmic Motors textbooks, along with the latest NASA magazines that sat there._

_Posters of renowned Astronauts and legendary Spaceships were hung all around the walls. It was all very surreal; he caught his breath, thinking that this moment will escape from him if he even blinked. A sloppy hand-drawn solar system poster was hung on the left side of the wall, beside his bed._

_Reaching out slowly, Lance traced his fingers along the poster, his hand stopping on the bottom right of it. It read: Lance McClain. 13 th of June, 2005. _

_2005? That was way back when Lance was just a nine year old!_

_In question, Lance looked down at his body in sudden realization. Letting out a sigh of relief, he relaxed a little. Thankfully, nothing changed. His body was the same as he remembered, the normal grown up body of his. He wouldn’t want to go back to being nine years old since it’s unbearably impossible._

_He continued looking around him, inspecting his room even more. Of course it was the same room he went back to three months ago, but there were some things that were thrown out and never retrieved again._

_Like this solar system poster. He would carry it everywhere and show it off proudly to his friends and teachers. Although it was so precious and dear to him and he worked hard to complete it, he lost it when him and his family went to visit his grandparents. It was a sad day for him, a very sad one, but he moved on anyway and created more stuff instead._

**_The box must be around here_ ** _, he thought to himself._

_Slowly, Lance stood up from the bed, his feet touching the fluffy white carpet. He wiggled his toes a little, remembering the feeling of the old carpet against his feet. Sadly, this carpet was given to his sister when he grew older._

_Now, he fully stood up on his feet and stayed there for a moment. Will he tip over? Or will he be able to walk normally since this current reality seemed like a total façade?_

_Hesitating a little, he took a step forward. Nothing happened and he didn’t tip over. **Nice**!_

_He walked up to his desk, and grabbed at the cold handle of a drawer, lingering his hand around it a little, while gazing down at the textbooks. He opened it eventually and there he saw it. A red painted box with all the planets on its cover. Although blue was his favorite color, red seemed to suit this box for some reason, with all the planets sloppily glued to the hard cover._

_Opening the box, Lance looked inside and found the stuff that he remembered to always go through when he reached home. This box was the only evidence of his small hope of becoming a future Astronaut. It’s as if the box itself resembled a living soul, breathing and feeling. If the said male ever had to describe it in three simple words, it will be passion, hope and desire. Of course there was determination and dedication to it, but these three words fit perfectly to his childhood dreams._

_The small letters he wrote to the same well-known Astronauts on his wall were in that box. Lance smiled a little as he saw his embarrassing handwriting when he was a nine year old. There were also the photos of Hunk and him going to Science Expeditions and Conventions in nearby cities together. Or whenever they heard the ice cream truck pass by their neighborhood, they would run after it together, to get this one type of ice cream they both loved._

_Sun Swirl was the name of their favorite ice cream! But if there were no Sun Swirl (that was unfortunate), they would get the Galaxy ice cream, which was as good!_

_Lance sighed, putting the last picture of Hunk and him holding up their Elementary school ‘diplomas’, saying they graduated from Elementary School. Honestly, Lance couldn’t be more thankful for not having all these crooked teeth now. He could easily identify both of his top canines were gone by the goofy smile he gave the camera._

_The Cuban looked inside the drawer again to check for anything additional. There was an A5 notebook seated in the same drawer, which had a light pastel yellow cover to it. This notebook was crafted by Hunk from scratch and was given to Lance on his sixth birthday. Even if this notebook was for pictures to memorialize, Lance remembered pretty well that he wrote some personal stuff inside it. Be it his feelings, or how he was dealing with life as a young boy._

_Opening it out of curiosity, he started reading some of the little poems silently to himself._

_‘6 May 2004_

_Hunk me and my parents went fishing today!_

_We all yeled MAY DAY! MAY DAY!!!_

_It was so good to play_

_With all the fishies and the funny looking bay!’_

_Laughing to himself, he continued skimming through the little poems he once wrote, laughing or even smiling while reading ridiculously cute poems. He stopped on a diary entry instead. He didn’t stumble upon a diary entry in this whole notebook, so that made him pause to a complete halt._

_‘9 2002_

_Dear Diarey_

_Today mommy told me i am sick_

_She said i have stay in the bed because this will make me strong!_

_I staied in bed like mommy seid but it was boring!!_

_I want to play with Hunk to but he can’t come becuz mommy told me the docters will be saad_

_I don want anyone sad!_

_But i am very sad and bord but i cant tell mommy that!_

_She will be sad too… And i don want that to…_

_But i want a huggle… i want mommy…’_

_His smile dropped immediately to a frown from this little entry. It was in this little entry, with its messy handwriting, the grammar and spelling mistakes, that he could relate to. Lance was more than sad, but he knew the six-year-old Lance who wrote this diary entry had a limited vocabulary than now._

_Before Lance could think more about it, he heard a familiar voice yell very loudly._

_“Lance! You have five seconds to get your butt down here!” That yell belonged only to this person he knew pretty well. The trademark yell that could threaten everyone easily in the house._

_Without questioning the situation any much further, he automatically jumped up to his feet, the notebook falling from his hands and hitting the ground, only to scatter some more Polaroid pictures on the floor._

_Stumbling out of the room, he almost crashed into little human beings running around and screaming in Spanish. All of a sudden, Lance started to feel like he was a deaf person and was hearing for the first time in decades._

_Blinking in awe, he saw a younger Lance run away from a younger version of Lance’s older brother and down the stairs, probably to the living room. Slowly and cautiously, the college student made his way down the staircase and was greeted by the smell of bacon again. It did wonders to his stomach and he realized he was starving._

_The older Lance made his way to the familiar kitchen to see a two year old version of his sister, Lola, seated in a high chair, babbling gibberish while Lance’s mother played with her. Lance reached out for his mother, hope in his eyes that he may be able to talk to her. Even if this was a false reality, he just needed her to talk to him._

_“Ma-”_

_“Mommy! Mommy! Erin will kill me!” His voice was cut off by a high-pitched screech from the little Lance who rushed in and hid behind his mother’s apron, while giggling. Erin, Lance’s older brother, stood there with messed up hair, tooth paste all over his face and a fake moustache glued in between his eyebrows._

_“He put toothpaste on my face while I was napping!” Erin protested immediately, speaking in an equal high-pitched voice. The college student almost wanted to remind his older brother of how their voice were ridiculously hilarious, but he remembered. He’ll see his family in summer break… If he’s lucky enough to…_

_The thought of what happened before was impossible to forget about. Going back to this time, where he was still young and innocent was too good to be true. When everything was peaceful and so much better than his messed up life now._

_“We’ll deal with this later. Erin, go wash your face and get ready. You have Violin class in 45 minutes,” their mother, Amora, ordered, as she looked at the younger Lance. “Lance, didn’t I tell you to take this with you everywhere?” She held up a nebulizer and younger Lance took it quickly, while giving his mother a sheepish grin._

_A nebulizer? For what?_

_“Didn’t the doctors say always take it with you everywhere?” Amora questioned and little Lance looked down at his feet, while shifting them around. “Sorry, mom,” he said guiltily, but Amora sighed, crouching down to his level and kissing his forehead softly. “Mijo, you’re not supposed to apologize. Just always remember that, yeah?”_

_Confusion rose in Lance’s mind. Take it everywhere with him? Did he have asthma when he was younger? He didn’t remember ever carrying a nebulizer with him. Or did he forget? Lance doesn’t know what’s the right question to answer._

_Little Lance decided to speak up again when Amora stood up on her feet and went to the fridge to get some apple juice for Lola. “Mom? Do you think I’ll become an Astronaut?” Younger Lance asked, while looking at his mother, in question, hope seeping out of the tone of his squeaky voice. Lance himself wanted to know as well. He probably forgot that kind of conversation from all the depressing thoughts he was having lately._

_Lance could wish he could interact with the younger version of himself and tell him to be careful with what career he choosed. No, Lance won’t tell him it’s impossible for them to become astronauts, but he’ll try to make him change his mind, if that was possible for the little determined Lance._

_Seeing his nine year old self, all cheerful and laughing when he pranked the younger Erin, was lovely. Lance’s cheeks felt damp with the small tears that started streaming down his face for the small joyful memories._

_All he ever does these days is cry and bring himself down, but oh boy, how he wished he could still be with his family, even if it meant to discover his… illness. Even saying **illness** didn’t seem natural at all._

_Running, laughing, joking, pranking and doing all the mischievous acts a person could ask off, it was all in Lance. It **was** Lance. He can’t just sit on a hospital bed and wish for best to come. No, that wasn’t like him. _

_Focusing back at the current situation, Lance saw his mother smile at younger Lance. “No matter what you achieve, Lance, I know you’ll be the happiest young man ever.” Her gaze seemed to shift and the college student froze._

_She was looking directly at him now. A soft smile etched on her face, her eyes almost watering from tears threatening their way out._

_“And I’ll know for sure, by that time you become the happiest, I’ll be so proud of my son.” She was smiling ever so gently at him. He wanted to run up to her and give her a huge hug. He wanted to thank her for everything, wanted to remind her of him always missing her and loving her forever._

_His mother was a beautiful woman, who never grew older and was the most supporting mother you could ever ask for. She can be strict when chaos happened in the house, but she’s still so wondrous. The way she would sing along the radio while cooking pizzas in the over. Or the way she would make people dance in front of the pizza shack on the beach. Or when she decided to have a happy hour and invite customers to play beach volley. She was amazing and Lance loved her for who she was._

_Lance walked closer to her and reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. To his surprise, her shoulder was so warm, so real, it almost made him tear up more. “Mommy? Where are you looking?” Little Lance interrupted and Amora was forced to look away and at her curious yet confused son._

_She gave Lance one last smile before gazing down at her small son and holding Lola up in her arms. “Nothing Lance. I was just imagining how incredibly handsome you’ll be when you grow up,” She chuckled, making both the younger and older Lance blush at the compliment._

_“Now, let’s go. We have a world that’s waiting for us!” She encouraged and little Lance cheered, arms in the air as he ran away. Amora followed the little monkey, Lola staring back at Lance. Lance tensed up again when the little girl smiled through her pacifier and giggled a little, motioning the infamous grabby hands toward him._

   Lance’s eyes flew open. Still lying down, he could notice the beeping in the background along the faint sound of his breath against the oxygen mask. Grumbling at the tenseness of his muscles, he sat up slowly noticing two new objects on him.

   Although he was glad they took of the patches, which were glued to his upper body, there was a pulse oximeter on his left pointer finger. It felt weird having a clamp on your finger, but it was the one helping him read how much oxygen he had in his blood.

_94%? This is a good sign, right?_

   Lance shook his head at the thought, ignoring the oximeter and looking down at his right arm. Gulping at the sight of it, there was an IV needle stuck in the back of his hand. Raising his hand up, he tried flexing his fingers slowly. They were moving normally, but then he saw the same purple bruise.

   It was still bad.

   It looked so big, he had to trace his fingers against it to make sure that was real. Thinking about the bruise was tiring. He got it not long ago and then it’s gone after nothing? As a cue, he looked ahead of him and above the TV to gaze at the clock. Just a little past midnight, 12:14am.

   Sighing, he sat up from his laying position and started brainstorming the whole weird dream he had of the younger him.

   So he was reminded of his childhood room and his childhood in general. It seemed like Erin and little Lance didn’t notice Lance’s presence. But where was Albert? He was three years older than Lola and he was supposed to be in that memory, as Lance can vaguely remember it. However, if we talk about who noticed his presence, then it was Lola. And his mother…

   A surge ran down his spine, making him shiver a little. The smile she gave him while saying these words… Lance remembered them clearly in his head. Being reminded of these words or that smile or that warm vibe around her… he missed all this.

   He needed to hear her voice. Now. He needed to hear her voice immediately.

   Lance ignored the little beeping of his heartbeat at the background. He took of the pulse oximeter and the oxygen mask, so he can escape from the bed. His other hand made its way to the bed controllers, making the top half of the bed sit more upright so he can stand easily.

   Forcing his legs to move to the side, they were dangling as he sat there staring down at the ground. The white fluffy carpet. It was warm against his feet. He needed to experience that warmth again. Just for a short moment.

   Being discourage about trusting his legs to hold him up, he stood up anyway, using the untouched food tray for support. He didn’t touch the food since it was renewed yesterday for dinner. The nurse told him he had to eat, but he refused. However, they reached a compromise and he ate half of the small yogurt pack just to make the nurse leave him alone.

   His stomach rumbled from the sight of food. It didn’t make him hungry. No. It made him sick.

   Taking a step forward, he tipped to his left side, but held himself steady, still using the food tray. Something moved behind him and he looked over his shoulder to see the IV stand, moving behind him as he walked.

   Staring at it for a moment, he saw the intravenous infusion connected to the infusion tube, sending little droplets through the tube and to the infusion cannula. It didn’t feel right. It was just a boring continuous cycle. Like an uneventful lifestyle. Or an uninteresting routine. He hated that kind of feeling and he hated being engulfed in a cold by his own…

   Lance gripped it with his opposite hand and started walking and supporting his weight against it as if he was leaning against some crutches.

   Reminded him of a similar situation.

   Nope, not the time to think of that, Lance thought, ignoring any ridiculous thoughts and focusing on the current. He successfully managed to reach the door, and opened it to reveal the hallway for the first time in these long torturous hours.

   He needed to make an urgent phone call. He knew he didn’t have his phone because he left it at his dorm when he rushed to get to the health examination. 

   “Wow, that seems like a long time ago,” He laughed bitterly to himself, staring at his feet in thought. What if he went back in time to this event? What if Hunk never woke him up and he missed his examination? Or what could’ve happened if these results weren’t so negative?

   Scoffing, Lance looked around him. He can’t change what has been done, all he had to do is deal with it. He can’t be that pathetic even if it meant… probable death in the end.

   “Shit.” Lance put a hand on his face, rubbing his face tiredly. _Optimism! Where is that optimism, McClain? We know you’re lonely and you know you feel awful, but this is not the time for all this!!_

   He shook off the positive voice in his head and slumped down on a chair in the empty waiting room just beside his own hospital room. Fuck being optimistic, he can’t deal with all this without having second thoughts.

   A nurse happened to pass by and she rushed to Lance’s aid. “Sir! You’re not allowed to roam the hospital alone! It’s dangerous,” She said politely, checking the intravenous infusion for anything abnormal and the IV needle too.

   Lance sighed a little, not liking being called ‘Sir’. “Look, I know you’re worried and all, but I just need to make a phone call,” he said, finally taking a good look on her. She wore the usual baggy nurse uniform, along with white big dangling earrings. Her eyes were yellow, but they had a gentle glow to it, along with greyish skin, that shone a little.

   The nurse fished her phone out of the baggy pocket and gave it to Lance without any hesitation. “Oh, sure. Here you go.” He took the phone slowly, not really knowing why she’s helping him, but took the offer anyway, not wanting to lose a chance like that.

   “Um, would you mind if…” his voice trailed off, not wanting to sound rude to the kind nurse. She was confused for a moment, before she understood the message. She nodded and smiled “Sorry, I’ll go,” She excused herself and walked off down the hallway, trusting Lance enough to leave him alone with her own phone.

   That’s one weirdly generous nurse…

   Lance dialed his mother’s number down, having memorized it a long time ago. His thumb hovered above the call button, hesitating, but he pressed it anyway. It might be three or four in the morning where she is, but he had to hear or voice, or he won’t be able to sleep.

   Waiting a couple of moments, after the fifth ring, the call was picked up and there came in the familiar voice.

 _“Hello?”_ Amora called, sounding extremely tired. Lance felt lucky his mother picked up the phone call although it was almost very early at her place. Feeling this lost was miserable, but his breath started wavering from the nerves.

   “Ma…” Lance called back, his voice cracking while muttering out this single word. He really didn’t want her to worry about him, but if this were his last wish, he would want it to be spent with his mother. Hear her voice, be embraced in one of her inviting motherly hugs, feel protected, and for once, _safe_.

   Without a fail, his mother never missed it even if Lance tried his best to hide it. _“Lance?! Darling, what’s wrong?”_

   Losing all the control in his voice he gulped. “H-Hospital…” Lance whimpered, rubbing one eye to get rid of the tingling tears rested on his cheekbones. This one word reminded him of his dream. When his mother reminded him of the nebulizer. The feeling of asking a question based on this dream, was awful. It made him feel sick to the stomach.

   Amora seemed to have understood everything from this word, being informed about Lance’s current health by the college’s principle and Doctor Thace after. She decided to prevent any further damage, softening her voice, although it showed some hint of exhaustion in it. _“Honey, you should sleep. I know talking about this now will only make you even more tired. So go sleep and I will make sure to–”_

   “No, mom! I need to know now! Don’t you think I deserve an explanation after all this?” Lance wanted to sound somehow angry in this situation. But getting angry with his mother? He can never do that. He would rather have this embarrassing croak in his voice and sound off like a dying walrus while sobbing, better than to upset his mother.

   Silence was the answer met to his question. His mother was very silent, to the point Lance called her a couple of times to make sure she was still on the line. She sighed, giving up on resisting and giving Lance the answer he deserved.

 _“You seem like you forgot but, you had a Myelodysplastic Syndrome when you were six,”_ She spoke so quietly, Lance had to squint his eyes at the opposing wall to focus on her voice. His back slumped at the news, trying to remember anything related to that syndrome in his memory.

   Amora spoke again. _“You had to go through a lot of examinations and antibiotics so we can prevent any unfortunate illness while you’re young.”_ Lance was shaking slightly at that. So he did have an illness when he was six years old…

   It explained the sad diary entry in the pastel yellow notebook. How lonely and sad little Lance felt when he sat on that hospital bed. Lance didn’t feel any different than the six year old Lance.

_“Doctors said it could be cured completely or temporarily. We happened to have cured it, but since the bone marrow was still developing back then, it seemed like it was cured temporarily. Which… resulted in leukemia in the bone marrow.”_

   Instead of throwing a tantrum of not believing what his mom told him, Lance sat there awfully quiet. Staring off at his lap, down at his unknowingly abused right wrist, Lance was super quiet. Thinking, remembering and recalling.

   That’s why he hated hospitals. That’s why he hated needles. It’s because he experienced it when he was a child. Going to weekly appointments to his former doctor for regular check-ups. Or when he got tired in elementary school, he would be sent to the hospital and would spend two months hospitalized.

   So this dream did hint what was missing in his memory. He finally understood. The hazy and foggy memory returned. He always had to take a whole set of different pills to fend off this syndrome of his when he was little, but apparently, Leukemia was the next stage of this syndrome.

 _“Lance?”_ Amora called for him, probably a couple more time, until he answered with a small hum. His mother said something, but he couldn’t hear her. He was too deep in thought to stop them.

   The Cuban couldn’t feel any condemned. He was at a loss of words. A feeling he rarely found himself trapped into.

   Maybe he can become speechless from time to time from being surprised. But nothing could compare to that. He grew so quiet, he started thinking all his articulators shut down and took the day off from this moment on.

   This was it? Was this his future? Lay in a hospital bed all day and night, mourning over shit he thought he would once accomplish? What kind of fucked up shit is that kind of drama? Why does he always have bad luck?

   That’s what made him lose it. It was too much for him. Blood cancer? All of a sudden? It sounds too impossible to believe. Too impossible to un-hear also.

   That’s why he hated hospitals and needles, right?

   He remembered a memory of him when he was young. He would mutter these two words to his mother when he was little and she would wipe away his tears and tell him he’ll be fine. She also used to hug him very tightly and whisper that one sentence that always made him cry.

 _“Lance! Are you with me?”_ His mother called, her voice fully awake now and anxious. Lance cursed under his breath for spacing out and answered his mother. “I’m sorry, mom. I spaced out,” he said the truth, as he slumped even more in his seat, watching the little droplets drop into the transparent tube.

   He heard his mother chuckle slowly as she whispered, _“You know, I’m still proud of my son.”_

   That was the sentence. This was the sentence that light Lance’s whole world. He couldn’t be any happier. Maybe this moment won’t last that long, but hearing that his mother was proud of him for something, did make him feel better.

   “Thanks mom,” He said, smiling slightly, while staring at his right hand, moving his fingers a bit.

   Amora hummed softly a familiar tune and spoke up again. _“Hopefully, your father and I will be able to get to your hospital when we get free time,”_ she said, yawning after.

   “Wait! You can’t do that!”

_“And… why not?”_

   “Because I don’t want you guys to go through all that trouble to visit me…”

   His mother’s laugh resonated through the call, warming its way to Lance’s heart like a tornado making its way through a city. It made him relax and know Amora was having fun while talking to him.

 _“Lance, honey. We will do anything to see you happy. Remember that one time I told you that you’ll be the happiest young man?”_ She asked and Lance hummed, muttering a small, “Yes” after. 

   You could hear the smile in her voice. _“I want that to come true. And if it meant driving for two days or paying a ticket to fly to where you are, then of course that’s what we’ll do.”_

   Again, his mother was the only person who knew how to cheer him up properly. She was the one who knew what he needed to hear and he was thankful. He didn’t want them to come all the way here and leave everything behind for him, but the way she put it made it sound very good.

   Lance smiled, yawning tiredly. “Yeah, I’ll be the happiest when that time comes,” he murmured and his mother hummed again approvingly.

_“Happy to hear that! Now, go to sleep. We’ll talk later anytime you want. Just give us a call, yeah?”_

   “Sure thing. Thanks mom, again.”

_“Te amo, mijo.”_

   “Te quiero, mama.”

   After exchanging a couple of jokes and their goodbyes, Lance hung up and sat there silently. He tilted his head back till it hit the wall and stared at the ceiling. He really wanted to see his mom now. Just talking to her warmed his heart. He’ll have to ask Hunk to bring his phone so he can call her without asking anyone for a phone call.

   Speaking of asking for a phone call… 

   “Oh! Did you safely make your phone call?” The tall male looked at the person speaking, and saw the nurse from earlier. Her eyes were still glowing gently at him, a relaxed expression on her face.

   Lance titled his back to normal and nodded, asking the nurse for help so he can stand up. She helped him up and supported him till he reached his room. Helping him on the bed, she situated the bed back into a sleeping position as Lance laid there.

   “You know. You can call me Lance.” The nurse nodded, a small blush creeping on her face from embarrassment. However, she frowned when she saw the full tray of food. Lance was going to clarify but she took the tray and walked up to the door slowly, careful not to drop anything on the way.

   “Um… thank you for lending me your phone today,” he thanked her and she looked behind her just when she opened the door. She smiled.

   “Anytime. You can also call me Shay. Goodnight.” With that she closed the lights and shut the door after her calmly to leave Lance sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing Lance's dream in this chapter. It felt touching to me when I was thinking about it.  
> But enough of that, happy Lance will be back again, I promise.  
> Just... not now, but maybe around the next two chapters? 
> 
> +=+
> 
> A friendly reminder.
> 
> I researched a ton on this kind of cancer before writing this fanfic.  
> Although there were trouble in the start (with me uploading this fic earlier than I expected).
> 
> I'll try my best to not go into details with this condition or it will confuse everyone.
> 
> So if you ever feel like I started to go into too much details and it started confusing you, don't bother in messaging me privately or commenting on the chapter.  
> I'll appreciate it.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Author's Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER.. SORRY!

I'm sorry this is an Author's Note, because I have to share important stuff.

I'm actually facing a slight writer's block, now that I have school and a lot of things to focus on.

And it's already challenging me, since I have a short attention span.

But I'll promise I'll find a way to update this week. Hopefully I'll find the time.

If you wanna talk or you have any suggestions that you wish to be added in this fanfiction, I'll always find time to listen!

You can find me on the Voltron Amino most of the time. Username is the same as my username here.

I'm sorry for not updating, but I'm already being challenged enough with another fanfic that I decided to start lol.

Sorry for whoever waited for an update... I'll try to make it up to you as soon as possible. 

Thank you!!


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